See Others Pain

As I’ve said before, living with Sickle Cell can give you a unique perspective in life. By looking beyond your discomfort, you will be able to see when people are in pain. Often it can be observed in the way they move. Others show the discomfort upon the expressions on their face. At times a persons pain can be heard in their voice or seen in their posture. Developing this insight will help you become sensitive to people’s needs. Use this tool to build meaningful relationships.

One day I was in the hair salon getting my hair cut. While conversing with the woman who was doing my hair, I observed she had the residue from hospital tape stuck on her arm. I asked her carefully, “I hope I’m not asking too personal of a question, but were you in the hospital recently?” She was surprised by my observation and touched that I expressed concern. It allowed us to share common personal experiences, which was something I think she needed at the time.  

By being observant and opening your heart to the hardship of others, you may be able to help someone in need. Perhaps you can tell them about treatments that have worked for you. Maybe you have insights about a medication that can help them. Or you may have pointers on how to mentally manage pain.

Simply acknowledging another’s discomfort can be an act of kindness. In my life, the friendships that mean the most to me are with those who recognize when I’m in pain. The words, “Is your back hurting,” mean a great deal to me. It tells me my friend sees the pain I’m in and wishes he/she could do something to relieve it. Even if there’s nothing they can do, the fact that they acknowledge my pain is a touching expression of their love.

Use the opportunity living with a chronic illness has given you. That opportunity is to utilize what you’ve learned from being sick to help others. Of course you could choose to be an angry bitter person who’s unsympathetic to other people’s pain—that’s “the quick and easy path” (another quote from Yoda). Or you can choose to be a compassionate, caring person who reaches out to help others carry their burdens.