The four-headed fire-breathing dragon of depression that’s sought to devour my Four-Points of Health is one I’ve battled many times. Depression may be a monster you also wrestle with. Living with a life-threatening illness can put strain on your mental and emotional health. Fretting over things like life expectancy, surviving the newest complication, managing pain, and trying to live a relatively normal life, all can weigh on you if you don’t find ways to relieve that stress. Fortunately, there are tools available to help you slay the dragon of depression.
I once asked friends and family, “If depression were a monster that you had to physically do battle with, what weapons would you use against it?” My dad gave the best answer when he said, “I’d throw chocolate ice cream at it.” Nice.
Depression is a mental health disorder that can influence diet, sleep, self-esteem, and your views about life. There are many kinds of depression disorders. If left untreated, they can last for months or years.
Some people think depression is a sign of personal weakness. Other people believe those suffering from depression can will themselves out of it simply by “not thinking about it.” Both are misconceptions. If you suffer from depression, it’s not because you are feeble minded or have some kind of shortcoming. Depression is a real disorder that sometimes requires medical and/or psychological treatment. Some of the symptoms of depression include:
➢ Having constant feelings of sadness
➢ Always feeling irritable or hopeless
➢ Difficulty sleeping
➢ Low energy or feeling fatigued
➢ Feelings of worthlessness
➢ Feeling guilty for no reason
➢ Experiencing a significant change in weight
➢ Difficulty concentrating
➢ A lack of desire to do favorite activities.
If you are experiencing many of these symptoms, and if they are present longer than two weeks, you may be suffering from depression. It would be wise to talk with your doctor about how you’re feeling.
Looking back to when I was a teen and a young adult, I see many periods of my life when I was severely depressed. I now realize how much I allowed pride to stand in the way of getting help. I told myself, “I should be able to control my own thoughts and how I feel.” I thought, “There’s nothing for me to be stressed or depressed about.” As a result, I frequently struggled to keep hope alive. I was often very irritable, angry and sad. I also struggled to control suicidal thoughts on a daily basis.
During those eight years of depression, there were times when I filled my hand with my entire month supply of pain medication and had to think of reasons not to down them all. My religious views and thoughts about how such an action would impact my family, especially my parents, were my saving graces.
Please don’t get the wrong idea of me. During that long stretch of depression, it wasn’t dark clouds and gloomy moods all the time. In fact, I expect most people who knew me had no clue, and would be totally surprised to learn, that I once struggled with suicidal thoughts. The Jon Monk nearly everybody outside the family saw was a jokester, happy, optimistic, and highly positive person; and I generally was. However, during that time in my life, the instant I was alone—whether I was driving by myself in my car or alone in my room—those darker feelings crashed upon me like waves upon the shore.
From ages nineteen to twenty-seven, this is what I experienced. Battling daily suicidal thoughts was something I thought I had to live with. I refused to believe my depression was something I couldn’t control. I also felt as though antidepressants had no place in my life. I was wrong on both accounts.
Showing posts with label 10) Depression-Antidepressants and Counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 10) Depression-Antidepressants and Counseling. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Antidepressants
I was about twenty-six years old when I met a man in my church that greatly influenced my life. He was not only the leader of the congregation I attended, but he became a close friend. For most of his life he lived with diabetes, so he was able to relate to many of the things I experienced with Sickle Cell better than most.
He and I talked at length many, many, many times about the need for antidepressants. He saw their usefulness, whereas I wasn’t open to the idea. This was ironic because I was studying psychology in college. In time, he helped me understand there was no shame in admitting I had a problem with depression and a need to take antidepressants.
“But I should be able to control my own thoughts and emotions,” I argued.
“Jon,” he said tenderly, “you have a disease that affects your heart, your liver, your blood, and every part of your body. Who’s to say that it doesn’t also affect your brain or your brain chemistry too?” I couldn’t argue with that.
By age twenty-seven, depression was upsetting my life and relationships with other people so severely that—after eight years of struggle—I finally decided to talk with my doctors about it. My life profoundly changed for the better when I was prescribed an antidepressant.
For the first time in nearly eight years I felt like the Jon Monk I knew I truly was. My natural optimism returned, I laughed like I used to, and sincerely began enjoying life as I once did. The hopelessness I awoke with each morning left me. Most importantly, my daily struggle to control my suicidal thoughts was removed. I was Jon again! I can’t begin to describe how wonderful a feeling it was/is to not think about killing myself every single day; to not to have to struggle with a negativity that was as strong as my natural optimism. The absence of those thoughts was like a turbulent stormy ocean that had suddenly become calm and clear.
Don’t misunderstand, antidepressants are not happiness in a pill that will magically turn that frown upside down. Fighting depression also means doing everything necessary to maintain your mental, emotional and physical well-being. Serving others, eating healthy, exercising when able, getting out in the sun, proper sleep, and all the other things I’ve discussed helps the medication do its job to combat depression.
Antidepressants work by targeting and stabilizing the chemicals in the brain that control mood and emotion. If you begin taking antidepressants, it's important to know it can take six to eight weeks for your body to absorb the medicine. It takes time to receive and feel the full benefits of these kinds of prescriptions. Follow your doctor’s instructions, be patient and give it a chance to work.
It might also help to know, though you may have a current need for antidepressants, it doesn’t mean you always will. The source and type of your depression are factors that determine how long you stay on antidepressants. In addition, sometimes it’s a matter of trial and error to find the right medication, or combination of medications, to treat your depression. So do your best to not try your doctor’s patience by being an impatient patient by giving up too quickly.
One final note about antidepressants, make sure you talk with your doctor about the medication’s timeline. Some antidepressants are meant to be taken for only a couple of years. It may or may not be necessary to rotate your current prescription with a different antidepressant. Your doctor will be able to tell you if any of your prescriptions require special attention to the length of time taken.
He and I talked at length many, many, many times about the need for antidepressants. He saw their usefulness, whereas I wasn’t open to the idea. This was ironic because I was studying psychology in college. In time, he helped me understand there was no shame in admitting I had a problem with depression and a need to take antidepressants.
“But I should be able to control my own thoughts and emotions,” I argued.
“Jon,” he said tenderly, “you have a disease that affects your heart, your liver, your blood, and every part of your body. Who’s to say that it doesn’t also affect your brain or your brain chemistry too?” I couldn’t argue with that.
By age twenty-seven, depression was upsetting my life and relationships with other people so severely that—after eight years of struggle—I finally decided to talk with my doctors about it. My life profoundly changed for the better when I was prescribed an antidepressant.
For the first time in nearly eight years I felt like the Jon Monk I knew I truly was. My natural optimism returned, I laughed like I used to, and sincerely began enjoying life as I once did. The hopelessness I awoke with each morning left me. Most importantly, my daily struggle to control my suicidal thoughts was removed. I was Jon again! I can’t begin to describe how wonderful a feeling it was/is to not think about killing myself every single day; to not to have to struggle with a negativity that was as strong as my natural optimism. The absence of those thoughts was like a turbulent stormy ocean that had suddenly become calm and clear.
Don’t misunderstand, antidepressants are not happiness in a pill that will magically turn that frown upside down. Fighting depression also means doing everything necessary to maintain your mental, emotional and physical well-being. Serving others, eating healthy, exercising when able, getting out in the sun, proper sleep, and all the other things I’ve discussed helps the medication do its job to combat depression.
Antidepressants work by targeting and stabilizing the chemicals in the brain that control mood and emotion. If you begin taking antidepressants, it's important to know it can take six to eight weeks for your body to absorb the medicine. It takes time to receive and feel the full benefits of these kinds of prescriptions. Follow your doctor’s instructions, be patient and give it a chance to work.
It might also help to know, though you may have a current need for antidepressants, it doesn’t mean you always will. The source and type of your depression are factors that determine how long you stay on antidepressants. In addition, sometimes it’s a matter of trial and error to find the right medication, or combination of medications, to treat your depression. So do your best to not try your doctor’s patience by being an impatient patient by giving up too quickly.
One final note about antidepressants, make sure you talk with your doctor about the medication’s timeline. Some antidepressants are meant to be taken for only a couple of years. It may or may not be necessary to rotate your current prescription with a different antidepressant. Your doctor will be able to tell you if any of your prescriptions require special attention to the length of time taken.
Counseling
Sometimes people with long-term health problems, like Sickle Cell, feel cheated in life. Perhaps you can relate to this and similarly feel cheated out of time with friends or out of the life you wish to live. I know how heavy these kinds of thoughts can weigh on the mind. Though these feelings may seem justified, take care in how you deal with them. Other wise you could find yourself, like Darth Vader, consumed by the dark side of the Force.
Talking with a psychologist—often called counseling—may be what you need to help in the coping process of living with Sickle Cell. Counseling and taking antidepressants often go hand in hand. A good psychologist can:
➢ Help you accept the fact that you live with a chronic illness
➢ Provide instruction on how to handle the physical and emotional pain you endure
➢ Be a person who will listen to your deepest concerns and fears without you having to worry about being judged by them
➢ Help you resolve any conflict you may have within yourself or with others.
When I was young, I thought counseling was for people who had a horribly abusive family life, for disturbed people who liked hurting animals, for psychopaths, lunatics, and for individuals whose father was also their uncle and their brother. I thought going to a psychologist meant there was really something wrong with you. I didn’t know everyday people often have things they need or should talk with a psychologist about. Nor did I understand how a psychologist could help average people come to terms with their problems.
When I was about thirty-one years old, I had a relapse in my depression that was largely triggered by staying on the antidepressant I had been taking for over three years, for too long a time. Unbeknownst to me, and overlooked by my doctors, two years was the maximum length of time I was supposed to be on that medication. This resulted in what my doctor called “the bottoming out” of that antidepressant. This is where the medication stops working and plunges you into a deeply depressed state. When this happened to me, it caused me to experience depression on a scale like nothing I’d ever gone through before.
I can only describe my experience as supercharged, mega-performance enhanced depression on steroids that threw me into a deep dark pit of emotional despair. It was a horrific event I don’t care to ever repeat. For one thing, those suicidal thoughts that had been absent for three years returned with a vengeance. Where I once only thought of ways to take my life, with this round of depression, images of actually taking my life played with vivid detail in my mind. They were powerful and intrusive images that I struggled to control. It took nearly a year of finding the right balance of antidepressants, at the proper dosage, accompanied with counseling before I felt I was back to being Jon, again.
The psychiatrist I was seeing during that hellish time helped me come to terms with the biggest issue I had about my depression, my need to take antidepressants. Before this incident occurred, though I had been taking an antidepressant for a few years, it never occurred to me that I might have a long term need for them. I hated the idea of always having to rely on medication to keep the depression away. However, I could not deny the fact that for over three years I lived without having daily thoughts of taking my own life; quite the opposite, I was happy to be alive. Eventually I accepted the truth that, like my pain pills and other medications, antidepressants were something I needed to some degree to stay mentally healthy.
With time, counseling, antidepressants, and much prayer I eventually recovered from that awful experience. There was a period during that time when I was taking three different antidepressants at once. Since my recovery, I’ve had no need for counseling and little need for antidepressants. (I say “little need” because the last of the antidepressants I’m taking is used to treat my insomnia more than my depression.) Additionally, the constant suicidal thoughts I once daily battled with, have long since fled. For nearly ten years, my enthusiasm for life has been . . . well . . . the only word I can think of is, wonderful.
Where I once was always angry and on edge, I’m now at peace. Where I once thought of all the different ways I could take my own life, I’m now happy to be alive. Where I once couldn’t imagine living another year, I now look forward to the years ahead of me.
If you’re at a place in your life where all you feel is darkness, sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, or have recurring thoughts of death and dying, listen to someone who has experienced it and get some help. For nearly eight years of my life I struggled daily to control my suicidal thoughts. For nearly eight years I believed it was just something I had to live with. For nearly eight years I was wrong by not admitting to myself that I needed help.
If you are silently experiencing something similar, please, know you don’t have to live like that. You can get help. It doesn’t mean you are weak and it doesn’t mean you can’t control your emotions. It may simply mean your body chemistry is out of balance or the electrical impulses in your brain aren’t firing properly. There is no cause to feel ashamed or embarrassed about that. Remember, depression is a disorder the same as Sickle Cell, and there’s no shame in it. Talk to your doctor so he/she can help you. You can find joy in life again. And life can be so very sweet.
Talking with a psychologist—often called counseling—may be what you need to help in the coping process of living with Sickle Cell. Counseling and taking antidepressants often go hand in hand. A good psychologist can:
➢ Help you accept the fact that you live with a chronic illness
➢ Provide instruction on how to handle the physical and emotional pain you endure
➢ Be a person who will listen to your deepest concerns and fears without you having to worry about being judged by them
➢ Help you resolve any conflict you may have within yourself or with others.
When I was young, I thought counseling was for people who had a horribly abusive family life, for disturbed people who liked hurting animals, for psychopaths, lunatics, and for individuals whose father was also their uncle and their brother. I thought going to a psychologist meant there was really something wrong with you. I didn’t know everyday people often have things they need or should talk with a psychologist about. Nor did I understand how a psychologist could help average people come to terms with their problems.
When I was about thirty-one years old, I had a relapse in my depression that was largely triggered by staying on the antidepressant I had been taking for over three years, for too long a time. Unbeknownst to me, and overlooked by my doctors, two years was the maximum length of time I was supposed to be on that medication. This resulted in what my doctor called “the bottoming out” of that antidepressant. This is where the medication stops working and plunges you into a deeply depressed state. When this happened to me, it caused me to experience depression on a scale like nothing I’d ever gone through before.
I can only describe my experience as supercharged, mega-performance enhanced depression on steroids that threw me into a deep dark pit of emotional despair. It was a horrific event I don’t care to ever repeat. For one thing, those suicidal thoughts that had been absent for three years returned with a vengeance. Where I once only thought of ways to take my life, with this round of depression, images of actually taking my life played with vivid detail in my mind. They were powerful and intrusive images that I struggled to control. It took nearly a year of finding the right balance of antidepressants, at the proper dosage, accompanied with counseling before I felt I was back to being Jon, again.
The psychiatrist I was seeing during that hellish time helped me come to terms with the biggest issue I had about my depression, my need to take antidepressants. Before this incident occurred, though I had been taking an antidepressant for a few years, it never occurred to me that I might have a long term need for them. I hated the idea of always having to rely on medication to keep the depression away. However, I could not deny the fact that for over three years I lived without having daily thoughts of taking my own life; quite the opposite, I was happy to be alive. Eventually I accepted the truth that, like my pain pills and other medications, antidepressants were something I needed to some degree to stay mentally healthy.
With time, counseling, antidepressants, and much prayer I eventually recovered from that awful experience. There was a period during that time when I was taking three different antidepressants at once. Since my recovery, I’ve had no need for counseling and little need for antidepressants. (I say “little need” because the last of the antidepressants I’m taking is used to treat my insomnia more than my depression.) Additionally, the constant suicidal thoughts I once daily battled with, have long since fled. For nearly ten years, my enthusiasm for life has been . . . well . . . the only word I can think of is, wonderful.
Where I once was always angry and on edge, I’m now at peace. Where I once thought of all the different ways I could take my own life, I’m now happy to be alive. Where I once couldn’t imagine living another year, I now look forward to the years ahead of me.
If you’re at a place in your life where all you feel is darkness, sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, or have recurring thoughts of death and dying, listen to someone who has experienced it and get some help. For nearly eight years of my life I struggled daily to control my suicidal thoughts. For nearly eight years I believed it was just something I had to live with. For nearly eight years I was wrong by not admitting to myself that I needed help.
If you are silently experiencing something similar, please, know you don’t have to live like that. You can get help. It doesn’t mean you are weak and it doesn’t mean you can’t control your emotions. It may simply mean your body chemistry is out of balance or the electrical impulses in your brain aren’t firing properly. There is no cause to feel ashamed or embarrassed about that. Remember, depression is a disorder the same as Sickle Cell, and there’s no shame in it. Talk to your doctor so he/she can help you. You can find joy in life again. And life can be so very sweet.
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