Building Relationships of Trust

Sickle Cell is a disease that influences almost every aspect of your life. Though you may not be able to choose how it impacts you physically, the power is yours to decide how it affects your relationships. In part, the love you have for your family and friends is demonstrated in your honesty. Being open about the details of your health shows you respect them enough to share your entire life with them. However, if you choose to keep your health problems a secret, you are hiding away some of the biggest parts of who you are.

If you’re secretive about your illness, it’s difficult for your loved ones to fully appreciate you as a person. It makes it impossible for them to totally understand:

➢    You as a person
➢    What makes you behave in certain ways at certain times
➢    Why you’re often absent from, or don’t participate in, certain events
➢    Why you are mentally and physically functional some days and not others
➢    And a hundred other things that will help them become more sensitive to your needs.

Choosing to keep your illness hidden, you are in a sense lying to those you share your life with; and the last thing you need is for your nose to grow and your pants to catch fire. However, by sharing your trials with your loved ones, you may be surprised to see how much you inspire them to bravely face their own challenges. You may also be amazed to see how much strength you gain from the love and support others give you when they understand the circumstances of your health.

A perfect example of how relationships can be strengthened by sharing your illness with others is found in a friendship with a young woman named Elisa. Like all those close to me, Elisa knew I suffered through a great amount of back pain. She could always see when I was in more discomfort than normal and often asked if she could rub my back for me. When my back was really hurting, I would have to ask a friend if they wouldn’t mind rubbing my back. With Elisa, however, I never had to ask; she always knew when I was in pain and always asked to help relieve it through that simple act of kindness. This is my fondest memory of her, and it helped build a beautiful bond between us. She is not alone. I have other friends who also demonstrate their love and compassion for me through similar acts of kindness.