With the Lord’s help, I try to choose topics that could be most beneficial to anyone who happens on my humble site. For some reason, for the past two weeks, suicide as it relates to Sickle Cell patients, has been on my mind. Forgive the seriousness of my chosen subject matter, but I feel it needs to be discussed.
I am a person who wholly knows what it’s like to feel hopeless and want more than anything in life for his to end. In Section 10) Depression, Antidepressants and Counseling, I share some of my experiences with depression. Having experienced what I have with depression and suicidal thoughts, I feel I can offer some insights for anyone who may be contemplating taking their life; and for those who are concerned that their loved one may be close to doing so.
This illness causes the afflicted to experience so much. Sometimes we feel like we are going to drown in anger and frustration. With all the missed school; lost social time; absent relationships; and chronic pain...sometimes we feel as though we can’t allow ourselves to get close to others. Other times we feel like people don’t want to get close to us. Sometimes the physical pain seems unending and too intense to endure. At times it’s impossible to imagine how things could ever get better. The things we emotionally and physically cope with cause the waters of our soul to run deep, and much is swimming beneath the surface.
The words we speak are often a reflection of the frustration we feel. Frequently, those frustrated words can be perceived by others as dark. I know I’m guilty of that on occasion. A person may ask, “Is there anything I can do?”
Jokingly I have said, “Do you have a gun?”
Not many people understand or appreciate the darker tinges of my humor that can eek out. Frustrated and tired, it’s easy to say such things. It doesn’t mean we are going to act on them; it doesn’t mean we are suicidal; it doesn’t mean we need a padded cell. It may simply mean we’re tired.
So, if the occasional random expressions of a desire for death are not warning signs, what are?
• Frequently talking about dying or taking their own life;
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness;
• Reckless behavior;
• Withdrawing from others;
• Sleeping too little or too much;
• Extreme mood swings;
• A preoccupation with death.
This is a short list. There are many additional warning signs. By no means am I medical professional. A doctor or psychologist will be able to offer additional and more detailed information than I.
Personally, I experienced each one of those warning signs at some point during my struggles with depression. Though I may have experienced several at a time, I don’t believe I experienced all of them at once. So, what should you do if your child or loved one begins exhibiting a multitude of warning signs?
First, learn to distinguish the difference between an expression of momentary frustration and a true state of depression. If you can’t tell the difference, seek advice from medical professionals. Try to encourage your loved one to talk to someone about what they are feeling.
For me, talking to my parents wouldn’t have made any difference. Don’t misunderstand, I have a WONDERFUL family and incredible parents. Too often, however, children discount parental wisdom or insight. I know I did with many things. What finally allowed me to see that I needed help were several conversations with a trusted friend.
This friend was a leader in my church, but more significantly, he lived with diabetes. To a great extent, he understood what it was that I felt. In time, he helped me see: 1) there was no shame in admitting that I needed help; and 2) embrace the possibility that Sickle Cell could effect my mind just as much as my body (please click here for greater details). My point in sharing this is, sometimes parents aren’t the best source for help (mostly because we kids don't want to listen). Sometimes it’s friends, doctors, psychologists, teachers, or church leaders who have the words that carry more weight.
Suicide in young adults is a problem in our country. 4,600 people from ages 10-24 take their own life each year. 157,000 are annually treated for self-inflicted wounds. Parents and loved ones need to be aware of what is going on in the life of those they love and how those things are emotionally impacting their children.
I write this to parents not to frighten you, but to help you understand what may be taking place in your child's mind. I hid, or at least tried to hide, much of my depression from parents. I didn't want them to worry. Perhaps I was afraid of what they might think.
In the post "Family Openness" I talked about how important it is for families to not be afraid to speak openly about life and death and everything in between. For me, thoughts about death and dying have always been present, even at a very young age. It's important to speak with your child about these things and find out what's going on inside them.
I hope this post provided some useful insight for parents.
No comments:
Post a Comment