A few months back, I read on the Sickle Cell Warrior facebook page of
someone with our illness who took their own life. That tragedy has
remained with me. I could have been a Sickle Cell patient who took his
own life. I know what it’s like to feel
helpless, hopeless, and tired of the pain; tired of the
struggle; and emotionally tired in every conceivable way.
Though you may not believe in yourself, God does. He believes you
posses the strength to endure the trials of life. And so do I. You posses the
courage, faith, will, and strength to survive all that may come your way. Find these things within yourself. I assure you they are there, and much more.
It is natural to become discouraged sometimes. Everybody, healthy or
sick, gets depressed. Living with a chronic illness, you and
I have a better reason than most to allow feelings of hopelessness to
enter our hearts. But just because we can allow something into our
hearts, doesn’t mean we should.
Free will is the singular most important gift God has given us. We all
have a choice in who we allow ourselves to become and how we choose to
live our life. I encourage you to choose to embrace joy. Choose to face your challenges
with a smile. Choose to allow God to give you the strength you need to
endure the pains of life. Choose to believe your life is worth living. And yes, life is worth living.
When I look at the years I struggled with depression, much of it was of
my own doing. It came as a result of the perspective I chose to have in
life. Much of my depression, I believe, was also chemical. There is no
doubt that antidepressants helped correct whatever brain chemistry that
was out of balance. But in addition to the antidepressants, I also
changed how I thought about things. I made the choice to be happy. In doing so, I became happy.
Like I said in Section 10, antidepressants are not a cure all that will
magically turn that frown upside down. They are an aid. They help. But
we must also do our part to make them work. We must have the right
mindset, we must eat right, and do our part to care of our mental,
physical, emotional and spiritual health (I talk about those four things in Section 09). If we do our part and don’t
rely entirely on the medication, we are going to be much better off.
My point isn’t to sell you on antidepressants; that may not be what you
need. Only a doctor can determine that. I just know for me, there were
times in my life when they helped. Presently I don’t use them.
When I learned that my heart wasn’t strong enough for the double hip
replacement surgeries that I need, I was exceptionally depressed. I
wondered how life was going to get better. In time, I came
out of that fog of depression. My life may not be as it once was, but I do believe things will get
better. I hope, whatever your situation is in life, that you carrier
that same belief within yourself.
If you are thinking about taking your life, I beg you...please...do not
do it! Talk with friends; talk with family; talk with God; talk with
your doctor; talk to somebody. Get some help. You are too precious.
Though you may not know what it is, you have a work to do in this life.
You have touched people around you and there are many more lives that
can become better because of you. You can make a difference in this
world.
I once thought I had to live my life struggling with suicidal thoughts.
I was wrong. If you are experiencing troubling thoughts like I once did, trust me when I say, you don’t have to endure them;
there are people who can help. Allow them to help you.
As Sickle Cell patients we endure more pain and trials than most. In
spite of those trials, there is joy and be had in life. I truly believe
the joys in life can far out weigh the pain, if that’s the choice we
make. I know what it’s like to not believe that. I’ve been on both
sides of the fence. Joy is a far sweeter aroma than misery.
I encourage you to seek out the
authentic joys life has to offer and embrace them fully. Get help. Choose life and be happy.
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