Saturday, November 23, 2013

Suicide & Sickle Cell -- To Fellow Patients

A few months back, I read on the Sickle Cell Warrior facebook page of someone with our illness who took their own life. That tragedy has remained with me. I could have been a Sickle Cell patient who took his own life. I know what it’s like to feel helpless, hopeless, and tired of the pain; tired of the struggle; and emotionally tired in every conceivable way.

Though you may not believe in yourself, God does. He believes you posses the strength to endure the trials of life. And so do I. You posses the courage, faith, will, and strength to survive all that may come your way. Find these things within yourself. I assure you they are there, and much more.

It is natural to become discouraged sometimes. Everybody, healthy or sick, gets depressed. Living with a chronic illness, you and I have a better reason than most to allow feelings of hopelessness to enter our hearts. But just because we can allow something into our hearts, doesn’t mean we should.

Free will is the singular most important gift God has given us. We all have a choice in who we allow ourselves to become and how we choose to live our life. I encourage you to choose to embrace joy. Choose to face your challenges with a smile. Choose to allow God to give you the strength you need to endure the pains of life. Choose to believe your life is worth living. And yes, life is worth living.

When I look at the years I struggled with depression, much of it was of my own doing. It came as a result of the perspective I chose to have in life. Much of my depression, I believe, was also chemical. There is no doubt that antidepressants helped correct whatever brain chemistry that was out of balance. But in addition to the antidepressants, I also changed how I thought about things. I made the choice to be happy. In doing so, I became happy.

Like I said in Section 10, antidepressants are not a cure all that will magically turn that frown upside down. They are an aid. They help. But we must also do our part to make them work. We must have the right mindset, we must eat right, and do our part to care of our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health (I talk about those four things in Section 09). If we do our part and don’t rely entirely on the medication, we are going to be much better off.

My point isn’t to sell you on antidepressants; that may not be what you need. Only a doctor can determine that. I just know for me, there were times in my life when they helped. Presently I don’t use them.

When I learned that my heart wasn’t strong enough for the double hip replacement surgeries that I need, I was exceptionally depressed. I wondered how life was going to get better. In time, I came out of that fog of depression. My life may not be as it once was, but I do believe things will get better. I hope, whatever your situation is in life, that you carrier that same belief within yourself.

If you are thinking about taking your life, I beg you...please...do not do it! Talk with friends; talk with family; talk with God; talk with your doctor; talk to somebody. Get some help. You are too precious. Though you may not know what it is, you have a work to do in this life. You have touched people around you and there are many more lives that can become better because of you. You can make a difference in this world.

I once thought I had to live my life struggling with suicidal thoughts. I was wrong. If you are experiencing troubling thoughts like I once did, trust me when I say, you don’t have to endure them; there are people who can help. Allow them to help you.

As Sickle Cell patients we endure more pain and trials than most. In spite of those trials, there is joy and be had in life. I truly believe the joys in life can far out weigh the pain, if that’s the choice we make. I know what it’s like to not believe that. I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Joy is a far sweeter aroma than misery.

I encourage you to seek out the authentic joys life has to offer and embrace them fully. Get help. Choose life and be happy.

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