When I launched this blog, I worried about finding enough subjects to write about each week. However, reading the Sickle Cell Warriors Facebook provides ample inspiration, and does so in many ways. One of the posts recently asked why many Sickle Cell patients believe they won’t live a long life. That question once again made me think about my view on this subject. I know I already covered this in Section 13) Believe You Will Live a Long Life, but I wanted to address it again and in a bit more depth.
I’m especially speaking directly to any and all young people reading this post. As a teenager--due to my many hospitalizations—I never believed I would live to see my eighteenth birthday. I was absolutely convinced of this. Nobody instilled that into me. My doctors never told me what my life expectancy was. My parents most certainly never treated me like my life was going to be short; this was something I had convinced myself of all on my own.
In spite of this belief, I had ambition in life. By the time I graduated high school, I wanted to be a psychologist; and that’s what I went to college for. Though I wanted to go to college, though I wanted to have a career, underneath that desire was the belief that I would not live to see it happen.
Going to college was difficult. Due to health complications, I often had to drop all my classes and retake them the next semester, where the same thing would happen. Though it took me six years, I earned an AA degree. Because it took so long to get a two-year degree, I really struggled to stay motivated to continue my education.
In addition to my falling motivation, I had it stuck in my head that I would never live long enough to achieve my career goals. I allowed this belief to dictate what I could and couldn’t do in life. I thought, “What’s the point in getting a degree? I will never live long enough to use it, and my health will never allow me to work.” I defeated myself before I even began in life.
After finally earning my two-year degree, I stopped going to college. However, I never stopped educating myself. Never has there been a time when I wasn’t studying something new, working on a project, learning about something that both interested and bettered me. Keeping my mind busy has always been important to me.
Now I’m forty years old. Crazy! From a teenage perspective, I must seem ancient. Trust me, some days I feel ancient; but I am amazed to still be here. Looking back, I have a lot of regret. I so regret that I never once believed I’d live a full life; I regret that I stopped myself from continuing my education or pursuing a career; I regret that I lived my life waiting to die.
Thankfully, there is still time. As stable as my health has been, there’s no reason to believe I won’t live another twenty or thirty years. There are many Sickle Cell patients out there who have lived into their 70’s and even 80’s. There are Sickle Cell patients out there who are doctors, nurses, lawyers, and musicians. So why can’t you or I do likewise? We can. The first step is, believing with all your heart, might, mind and spirit, that you WILL live a full life.
My purpose in this post, obviously, is to help any and all young readers fully embrace the truth that I did not. Don’t hope you will live a full life. Don’t believe you will live a full life. Know with absolute certainty that you WILL live a full life. Expect nothing else. Yes, you are going to be hospitalized. Yes, pain crises will come. Yes, unexpected complications of your illness will arise. But if you take care of your body, mind and spirit, there is no reason to believe you won’t live a full and happy life.
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