Not Cleared for Surgery

The past four months I've been somewhat patiently waiting for my foot ulcers to heal so I could have my first hip replacement surgery. I've also been going to my various doctors to get clearance for surgery. They all gave me clearance. That is, until I saw my cardiologist ten days ago.

To make sure that my heart was/is strong enough for surgery, he ordered a stress echo test. Normally they would have a person run on a treadmill while monitoring the heart to test the heart's function and strength. Since I'm walking with a walker, obviously that wasn't possible. So they did a chemical stress test instead.

After they did an echo of my heart, they put an I.V. in my arm. Typically they give you small doses of a medication that gradually raises your heart rate. They have you hooked up to all kinds of monitors and perform another echo of the heart during the procedure.

When I was given the medication, it didn't cause my heart rate to raise, but to plummet. I experienced a heaviness and pain in my chest; it felt like my heart was about to pop out of my chest, and I had difficulty breathing. The doctor came running in, they gave me oxygen and had to halt the test very early on.

Over the past many years, my heart function has been stable at 45%. It's now 35%. Based on what happened during the test, my cardiologist can't/won't clear me for surgery. "If what happened here," my cardiologist said, "happened in the operating room, it would be very bad."

When I was told about my hips several months ago, I was told I had two options: 1) have a double hip replacement surgery, or 2) live with it until it got worse and eventually end up in a wheelchair. So when my cardiologist told me he couldn't clear me for surgery, I was...devastated.

There are many things I've prepared myself for in my life; spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair wasn't one of them. I'm having to come to terms with this reality and I find I'm having a hard time with that. Once I get my chair, hopefully an electric one, I know I will regain much of the mobility that I've lost over the past year and a half. Right now, every step with my walker is agony and physically taxing. But mentally coming to terms with being in a wheelchair is taking time. But with the Lord's help, I know peace will come.