The first time I saw my current pain specialist he asked me the normal questions, “Do you smoke, drink, or do drugs?” When my answer to each question was no, he asked, “Not ever?”
“No,” I replied.
“Not ever!” he exclaimed in disbelief.
“No,” I said with a chuckle. “Why would I do that to myself? My heart works at 50%, my lungs at 50%, my hemoglobin is at 6.5, my liver and kidneys are always being watched . . . why would I do that to myself? I might as well get a shovel and start digging my own grave.”
When living with Sickle Cell Anemia, choosing to live a healthy lifestyle is the wisest one to make. Having Sickle Cell unfortunately means enduring certain complications. Despite this, you still have the control talked about earlier. Are you going to intentionally do things that will harm your body? Smoking, drinking, recreational drugs, and a poor diet are all things that are harmful to your health. If your lungs have only 50% capacity from Sickle Cell Disease, imagine how much less capacity they would have if you smoked? 40%? 30%? 20%? How many years would those tar-filled lungs take off your life? Many! However, not polluting you body with recreational toxins, how much better will your chances be at living to be fifty, sixty or perhaps even eighty? Your chances will be much improved.
Taking proper care of your body also means getting the appropriate amount of sleep, drinking plenty of water, following your doctor’s advice, taking your medications as directed, and all the other things discussed. It takes work, but the responsibility is yours to do all you can to prolong your health and your life.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
You Might Live Longer Than You Think
I can’t express to you enough the value in believing you will live a long life. Regardless of how hard your trials become, don’t allow yourself to give up. I’ll share something personal with you to show why I feel so strongly about this.
Growing up as a child and teen, because I was hospitalized over a hundred times before age eighteen, I never truly believed I would live to be twenty. In fact, I was sure I wouldn’t. I was even more certain I would not live to be thirty years old. Though I felt this way, I did what I could to manage my illness and to care for my body the best I knew how. I never felt, “I’m going to die young, so I might as well drink this keg of vodka—it looks like water.”
Now I am thirty-nine years old and have lived far longer than I ever imagined. I’ve taken many lickings, but I’m still ticking. I’ve lived to see nieces and nephews I held in my arms as newborns grow to adulthood, marry and have children of their own. I’ve lived to enjoy events in life, have experiences and cherished relationships I never believed I would have. I’ve come to have a peace in life that is simply . . . beautiful.
The day I turned thirty years old was one of wonderful celebration. As has been each day and year since then. Every year I grow older, the more astonished I am to still be here and the more grateful I am as well. Though I endure more Sickle Cell pain than I did when in my twenties, the number of hospital visits in my adulthood have been relatively few when compared to my childhood. In the past sixteen years I’ve been blessed with less than ten hospitalizations. For the first time in my life, I have stayed out of the hospital for six years strait. As stable as my health has been, the possibility of living another thirty or more years is both realistic and exciting—most of the time.
I share this with you to encourage you to likewise believe you will live a full life. Work to make it can happen. Hope for it to happen. Live your life in such a way so it can happen. As you do, you may also find yourself living longer than you imagined and enjoying events in life you never dreamed you’d experience.
Growing up as a child and teen, because I was hospitalized over a hundred times before age eighteen, I never truly believed I would live to be twenty. In fact, I was sure I wouldn’t. I was even more certain I would not live to be thirty years old. Though I felt this way, I did what I could to manage my illness and to care for my body the best I knew how. I never felt, “I’m going to die young, so I might as well drink this keg of vodka—it looks like water.”
Now I am thirty-nine years old and have lived far longer than I ever imagined. I’ve taken many lickings, but I’m still ticking. I’ve lived to see nieces and nephews I held in my arms as newborns grow to adulthood, marry and have children of their own. I’ve lived to enjoy events in life, have experiences and cherished relationships I never believed I would have. I’ve come to have a peace in life that is simply . . . beautiful.
The day I turned thirty years old was one of wonderful celebration. As has been each day and year since then. Every year I grow older, the more astonished I am to still be here and the more grateful I am as well. Though I endure more Sickle Cell pain than I did when in my twenties, the number of hospital visits in my adulthood have been relatively few when compared to my childhood. In the past sixteen years I’ve been blessed with less than ten hospitalizations. For the first time in my life, I have stayed out of the hospital for six years strait. As stable as my health has been, the possibility of living another thirty or more years is both realistic and exciting—most of the time.
I share this with you to encourage you to likewise believe you will live a full life. Work to make it can happen. Hope for it to happen. Live your life in such a way so it can happen. As you do, you may also find yourself living longer than you imagined and enjoying events in life you never dreamed you’d experience.
Everybody Has Pain
As a result of my many hospitalizations, I learned two lessons in life very well: (1) Everybody has pain, and (2) Somebody always has it worse than I do.
Since the last four sections have been about maintaining mental, emotional, and spiritual health, you might wonder how the idea “Everybody Has Pain” fits in with what’s already been discussed. As with so many things in life, perspective makes all the difference. When you understand your pain is no greater than the person sitting next to you and you aren’t the only person living with hurt, it’s easier to not have a “woe is me” attitude.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are the only one that has it hard. Pain takes many forms. Some people have a bad family life or the pain of having no family at all. Many struggle with crippling depression or other forms of mental illness. Some live with terrible phobias that control their lives. Others have constant bone, muscle or other forms of pain and disease that far exceeds your own. Some are bed ridden, unable to move or speak. Others live with traumatic memories that haunt them day and night. The list is endless.
I know many people who live with chronic back pain or some other kind of physical discomfort. Often they’ll say to me, “I know my pain doesn’t compare to yours . . .yadda yadda yadda.” It makes me sad when people express such things to me. I don’t believe my pain is any greater than Billy-Bob’s broken butt or Tiny-Tim’s twisted toes. Everybody’s pain tolerance is different.
Try to not think of your discomfort as being greater than Jittering Jane’s next door. In doing so, you may find yourself growing callous to the suffering of others and insensitive to their needs. If and when that happens it won’t be long before the negative energy from such self-centered thoughts begin to influence your 4-Points of Health in undesirable ways.
Since the last four sections have been about maintaining mental, emotional, and spiritual health, you might wonder how the idea “Everybody Has Pain” fits in with what’s already been discussed. As with so many things in life, perspective makes all the difference. When you understand your pain is no greater than the person sitting next to you and you aren’t the only person living with hurt, it’s easier to not have a “woe is me” attitude.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are the only one that has it hard. Pain takes many forms. Some people have a bad family life or the pain of having no family at all. Many struggle with crippling depression or other forms of mental illness. Some live with terrible phobias that control their lives. Others have constant bone, muscle or other forms of pain and disease that far exceeds your own. Some are bed ridden, unable to move or speak. Others live with traumatic memories that haunt them day and night. The list is endless.
I know many people who live with chronic back pain or some other kind of physical discomfort. Often they’ll say to me, “I know my pain doesn’t compare to yours . . .yadda yadda yadda.” It makes me sad when people express such things to me. I don’t believe my pain is any greater than Billy-Bob’s broken butt or Tiny-Tim’s twisted toes. Everybody’s pain tolerance is different.
Try to not think of your discomfort as being greater than Jittering Jane’s next door. In doing so, you may find yourself growing callous to the suffering of others and insensitive to their needs. If and when that happens it won’t be long before the negative energy from such self-centered thoughts begin to influence your 4-Points of Health in undesirable ways.
Somebody Has it Worse Than You
When I was hospitalized as a child, most of the children I shared a room with were fighting cancer. Over and over again I saw first hand how sick the treatments made them. On occasion I would room with other Sickle Cell patients. One child in particular had suffered lasting brain damage from a stroke. I recognized at a young age how blessed I was to survive my stroke free of long term damage.
As an adult, with every monthly visit to my pain clinic, my eyes witness the severity of other people’s pain. Upon the faces of many patients in the waiting room, I observe the agony every move brings them. The unrelenting discomfort from lost or deformed limbs is written upon the expressions of many. It’s abundantly clear to me that some people’s suffering is far worse than mine.
It’s easy to become solely focused on the hardship you face in your own life. It may be a temptation to judge a healthy person and think “I have all these problems, miss half my class time, keep a 4.0 G.P.A., work two jobs and you can’t even get a passing grade in Gym class?!” I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea.
The thing to remember is, you can’t look into every aspect of a person’s life. Yes, he/she may be perfectly healthy, but you don’t know what’s going on inside their head, home, or heart. There are issues in life other than medical problems that can cause people to have pain greater than yours.
As an adult, with every monthly visit to my pain clinic, my eyes witness the severity of other people’s pain. Upon the faces of many patients in the waiting room, I observe the agony every move brings them. The unrelenting discomfort from lost or deformed limbs is written upon the expressions of many. It’s abundantly clear to me that some people’s suffering is far worse than mine.
It’s easy to become solely focused on the hardship you face in your own life. It may be a temptation to judge a healthy person and think “I have all these problems, miss half my class time, keep a 4.0 G.P.A., work two jobs and you can’t even get a passing grade in Gym class?!” I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea.
The thing to remember is, you can’t look into every aspect of a person’s life. Yes, he/she may be perfectly healthy, but you don’t know what’s going on inside their head, home, or heart. There are issues in life other than medical problems that can cause people to have pain greater than yours.
See Others Pain
As I’ve said before, living with Sickle Cell can give you a unique perspective in life. By looking beyond your discomfort, you will be able to see when people are in pain. Often it can be observed in the way they move. Others show the discomfort upon the expressions on their face. At times a persons pain can be heard in their voice or seen in their posture. Developing this insight will help you become sensitive to people’s needs. Use this tool to build meaningful relationships.
One day I was in the hair salon getting my hair cut. While conversing with the woman who was doing my hair, I observed she had the residue from hospital tape stuck on her arm. I asked her carefully, “I hope I’m not asking too personal of a question, but were you in the hospital recently?” She was surprised by my observation and touched that I expressed concern. It allowed us to share common personal experiences, which was something I think she needed at the time.
By being observant and opening your heart to the hardship of others, you may be able to help someone in need. Perhaps you can tell them about treatments that have worked for you. Maybe you have insights about a medication that can help them. Or you may have pointers on how to mentally manage pain.
Simply acknowledging another’s discomfort can be an act of kindness. In my life, the friendships that mean the most to me are with those who recognize when I’m in pain. The words, “Is your back hurting,” mean a great deal to me. It tells me my friend sees the pain I’m in and wishes he/she could do something to relieve it. Even if there’s nothing they can do, the fact that they acknowledge my pain is a touching expression of their love.
Use the opportunity living with a chronic illness has given you. That opportunity is to utilize what you’ve learned from being sick to help others. Of course you could choose to be an angry bitter person who’s unsympathetic to other people’s pain—that’s “the quick and easy path” (another quote from Yoda). Or you can choose to be a compassionate, caring person who reaches out to help others carry their burdens.
One day I was in the hair salon getting my hair cut. While conversing with the woman who was doing my hair, I observed she had the residue from hospital tape stuck on her arm. I asked her carefully, “I hope I’m not asking too personal of a question, but were you in the hospital recently?” She was surprised by my observation and touched that I expressed concern. It allowed us to share common personal experiences, which was something I think she needed at the time.
By being observant and opening your heart to the hardship of others, you may be able to help someone in need. Perhaps you can tell them about treatments that have worked for you. Maybe you have insights about a medication that can help them. Or you may have pointers on how to mentally manage pain.
Simply acknowledging another’s discomfort can be an act of kindness. In my life, the friendships that mean the most to me are with those who recognize when I’m in pain. The words, “Is your back hurting,” mean a great deal to me. It tells me my friend sees the pain I’m in and wishes he/she could do something to relieve it. Even if there’s nothing they can do, the fact that they acknowledge my pain is a touching expression of their love.
Use the opportunity living with a chronic illness has given you. That opportunity is to utilize what you’ve learned from being sick to help others. Of course you could choose to be an angry bitter person who’s unsympathetic to other people’s pain—that’s “the quick and easy path” (another quote from Yoda). Or you can choose to be a compassionate, caring person who reaches out to help others carry their burdens.
Liberation in Serving
One of the best things you can do for your own mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being is to find ways to serve other people.
I think it’s fair to say nobody would want the trials you have in life. The reverse is equally true—you wouldn’t want anyone else’s (unless, of course, that trial took the form of having an endless supply of money, then I, for one, would be happy to unburden anybody who volunteers). Serving others makes it easier to be grateful for your own challenges. It also gives you the opportunity to develop emotional connections you might not otherwise have.
There are an infinite number of ways you can help others. For instance, you can provide service:
➢ To people at your church,
➢ To people in your community,
➢ By performing random acts of kindness—that’s doing something nice for someone without a reason,
➢ By reaching out to others in need of friendship and support,
➢ By volunteering your time to a good cause.
These are only a few ideas as to how you can become involved and offer your time for service.
In addition to everything I’ve discussed above, service can help combat depression. Filling your time and thoughts with charitable acts means you have less time to think about your hardships. Helping people not only feels good, but it also allows you to feel good about yourself. Service can help boost your self-worth. If you’re struggling with depression, finding ways to serve others may be the best treatment for that as well.
One final thought about service. Like all things, the attitude you have about the task at hand makes all the difference in the world. If you have sourpuss feelings when helping others, neither you nor the people you aid are going to benefit from your alleged kindness. However, if your service is offered cheerfully and with love, the reward can be great; both for you and those you’re serving.
I think it’s fair to say nobody would want the trials you have in life. The reverse is equally true—you wouldn’t want anyone else’s (unless, of course, that trial took the form of having an endless supply of money, then I, for one, would be happy to unburden anybody who volunteers). Serving others makes it easier to be grateful for your own challenges. It also gives you the opportunity to develop emotional connections you might not otherwise have.
There are an infinite number of ways you can help others. For instance, you can provide service:
➢ To people at your church,
➢ To people in your community,
➢ By performing random acts of kindness—that’s doing something nice for someone without a reason,
➢ By reaching out to others in need of friendship and support,
➢ By volunteering your time to a good cause.
These are only a few ideas as to how you can become involved and offer your time for service.
In addition to everything I’ve discussed above, service can help combat depression. Filling your time and thoughts with charitable acts means you have less time to think about your hardships. Helping people not only feels good, but it also allows you to feel good about yourself. Service can help boost your self-worth. If you’re struggling with depression, finding ways to serve others may be the best treatment for that as well.
One final thought about service. Like all things, the attitude you have about the task at hand makes all the difference in the world. If you have sourpuss feelings when helping others, neither you nor the people you aid are going to benefit from your alleged kindness. However, if your service is offered cheerfully and with love, the reward can be great; both for you and those you’re serving.
You Have Nothing to Prove
For whatever reason, there are many individuals in the world who feel a need to try and tear down other people’s sense of self-worth. Living with a chronic illness, the challenge of maintaining self-worth can at times be difficult. Combating the negative voices you hear in the world, and within your own mind, is a critical part to staying mentally healthy.
Preserving feelings of self-worth can be difficult for any one at any age, but it can be especially tough when you’re in high school. Though there are plenty of mean people in the world, I choose to believe most people are nice. Sadly, for reasons you may never understand, some people will try to make you feel bad about yourself for being sick. Others will try to make you feel like you’re lazy, believing you exaggerate your pain to get out of work or to get attention. Choose to not allow those kinds of people damage your self-esteem.
Have confidence in the truth—you know you aren’t exaggerating your very real pain. Take reassurance in the knowledge that you know the limits of your body and the naysayers who think you’re lazy don’t have a clue. However, if you are exaggerating your pain, don’t get mad when people call you on it.
If a person thinks you’re lazy, you can try to politely educate them and hopefully they will be open to that information. If they aren’t, if they simply don’t get it or don’t want to get it, the only thing you can do is let it be. Make the choice to not be offended. Not everybody is capable of comprehending what Sickle Cell patients endure and what your life is like. Realize you can’t always change what people think about you. You can only change the way you think about them.
Above all, remember you have value. Though Sickle Cell may restrict your life in some ways, you can draw courage in knowing you have other strengths that more than make up for it. You’re not less of a person because you are sick. If anything, your experiences can provide you with a perspective in life that’s quite unique.
Preserving feelings of self-worth can be difficult for any one at any age, but it can be especially tough when you’re in high school. Though there are plenty of mean people in the world, I choose to believe most people are nice. Sadly, for reasons you may never understand, some people will try to make you feel bad about yourself for being sick. Others will try to make you feel like you’re lazy, believing you exaggerate your pain to get out of work or to get attention. Choose to not allow those kinds of people damage your self-esteem.
Have confidence in the truth—you know you aren’t exaggerating your very real pain. Take reassurance in the knowledge that you know the limits of your body and the naysayers who think you’re lazy don’t have a clue. However, if you are exaggerating your pain, don’t get mad when people call you on it.
If a person thinks you’re lazy, you can try to politely educate them and hopefully they will be open to that information. If they aren’t, if they simply don’t get it or don’t want to get it, the only thing you can do is let it be. Make the choice to not be offended. Not everybody is capable of comprehending what Sickle Cell patients endure and what your life is like. Realize you can’t always change what people think about you. You can only change the way you think about them.
Above all, remember you have value. Though Sickle Cell may restrict your life in some ways, you can draw courage in knowing you have other strengths that more than make up for it. You’re not less of a person because you are sick. If anything, your experiences can provide you with a perspective in life that’s quite unique.
Do What You Can
Doing what you can, when you can, will help maintain your feelings of self-worth. By this I mean don’t use your illness as an excuse. For example, let’s say sometime in the future you have a job where you’re asked to work overtime one hour. If you are physically up to it, put in the extra time. Do what you can when you can. Don’t tell your boss, “Oh, I’m kind of having a pain crisis right now . . . blah, blah, blah,” when you really aren’t. When you lie about your condition, you give people cause to believe you are lazy or are exaggerating your very serious medical condition.
Show people you’re willing to do the work asked of you when well enough to do it. By doing so, people will be more considerate and less judgmental. Help them see from your honesty there are valid reasons why you sometimes can’t do as much as other days. Having this kind of work ethic—knowing you’re a good worker in spite of your health problems—will boost your feelings of self-worth.
I know in my life there have been instances where somebody asked me to do something that was too taxing for how I was feeling at the moment. Though they didn’t say so, it was clear to read from their expressions that they felt I was using my illness as an excuse to get out of work. Thankfully I have the confidence to know that has never been the case.
Show people you’re willing to do the work asked of you when well enough to do it. By doing so, people will be more considerate and less judgmental. Help them see from your honesty there are valid reasons why you sometimes can’t do as much as other days. Having this kind of work ethic—knowing you’re a good worker in spite of your health problems—will boost your feelings of self-worth.
I know in my life there have been instances where somebody asked me to do something that was too taxing for how I was feeling at the moment. Though they didn’t say so, it was clear to read from their expressions that they felt I was using my illness as an excuse to get out of work. Thankfully I have the confidence to know that has never been the case.
Don't Play on People's Sympathies
In section seven, I talked about the fear some individuals have of being labeled. One way to find a label stuck to your forehead is by using your illness to play upon the sympathies of others. I once had a coworker who had a curious habit. Whenever somebody spoke of a medical problem they had, she always felt a need to share something personal from her life. But she did it in such a way that, no matter what problem you had, hers was worse. If you told her you had a broken toe, she would say she had a broken foot. If you had a back pain, her whole body was in agony. This tendency of hers seemed like an attempt at forcing my sympathy. Why she felt the need to behave in such a way, I will never know. What I do know is that it made me suspicious of her character and honesty.
When abusing people’s caring and giving nature, you risk loosing their respect. Behaving in such a manner could mean not receiving help when truly needed. It may cause you to be branded something you perhaps aren’t. Most importantly, the respect you have for yourself will be diminished. Only by being truthful with the people in your life and by being true to yourself will your feelings of self-worth grow.
When abusing people’s caring and giving nature, you risk loosing their respect. Behaving in such a manner could mean not receiving help when truly needed. It may cause you to be branded something you perhaps aren’t. Most importantly, the respect you have for yourself will be diminished. Only by being truthful with the people in your life and by being true to yourself will your feelings of self-worth grow.
Your Self-Image
Terms such as self-esteem, self-image, and self-worth all pretty much have the same meaning. Many of the ideas I've discussed relate to maintaining your self-worth. Finding healthy physical activities, seeking out new talents and developing a good work ethic all contribute to having a healthy self-image.
In my mind, having a positive self-image falls under mental health on the 4-Points of Health. It’s important to feel good about the person you are in spite of the challenges you face. When you feel bad about the person you are, it’s easier to fall into depression. More depression leads to poorer health. Poorer health leads to more pain. But when you have a positive view of the person you are, you create within yourself an inner peace that benefits your entire health. Work at maintaining a positive self-image.
In my mind, having a positive self-image falls under mental health on the 4-Points of Health. It’s important to feel good about the person you are in spite of the challenges you face. When you feel bad about the person you are, it’s easier to fall into depression. More depression leads to poorer health. Poorer health leads to more pain. But when you have a positive view of the person you are, you create within yourself an inner peace that benefits your entire health. Work at maintaining a positive self-image.
About Employment
The pursuit of a career is something I’ll talk more about in Section 16 "Prepare for Your Future." However, I wanted to take a moment here to share some things with you about employment. The severity of your illness may or may not make holding down a job difficult for you. In time, you’ll learn for yourself what your limits are. If you find you are unable to work, please know you have nothing to be ashamed about. The Government has programs that can help you. I’m talking about this because I know how difficult it can be to say, “No, I’m not employed.” When I was in my twenties, I found this to be especially challenging to have to admit.
When you’re older and meet somebody new, the common get to know you question is, “What do you do for a living?” When going to college, I didn’t feel quite as bad about myself when I told people I didn’t have a job. After college, however, there was a time when I felt a hint of shame in having to say I wasn’t employed. Thankfully I got over that.
Maturing a little—after all, I do collect Yoda’s—I finally realized there is no shame in having to confess, “I’m permanently disabled.” However, because I work at keeping myself busy, I’m able to tell people, “I spend much of my time reading, I’m somewhat of an artist, and I enjoy writing. In fact, I’ve been working on a book I hope to have published.” Just because my illness prevents me from having a full-time job—and that may not be so for you—that doesn’t mean I don’t work at something.
I recently received a wonderful compliment from a friend. He mentioned to me at church one day how impressed he is by people who work when they don’t have to. “You for example,” he commented. “You can’t work. But you always keep yourself busy with your artwork and various projects. I’ve always admired that about you.” I have to say, it felt good to have somebody I respect, recognize that I work to at being productive.
If your situation proves to be similar to mine—which it may not—try to apply these same principals to your life. Learn to feel comfortable telling people the truth. Try not to be embarrassed about your condition. Build your self-confidence by actively keeping yourself busy with a variety of activities. Be productive. This will be a valuable tool in maintaining your self-esteem.
Remember, your life has value. You are a person of importance. You have talents, skills, strengths, and qualities that make you a unique person of great worth. There is much you can contribute to the lives and the world around you. You have the ability to achieve many wonderful things. All you have to do is believe in yourself and work to make it happen.
When you’re older and meet somebody new, the common get to know you question is, “What do you do for a living?” When going to college, I didn’t feel quite as bad about myself when I told people I didn’t have a job. After college, however, there was a time when I felt a hint of shame in having to say I wasn’t employed. Thankfully I got over that.
Maturing a little—after all, I do collect Yoda’s—I finally realized there is no shame in having to confess, “I’m permanently disabled.” However, because I work at keeping myself busy, I’m able to tell people, “I spend much of my time reading, I’m somewhat of an artist, and I enjoy writing. In fact, I’ve been working on a book I hope to have published.” Just because my illness prevents me from having a full-time job—and that may not be so for you—that doesn’t mean I don’t work at something.
I recently received a wonderful compliment from a friend. He mentioned to me at church one day how impressed he is by people who work when they don’t have to. “You for example,” he commented. “You can’t work. But you always keep yourself busy with your artwork and various projects. I’ve always admired that about you.” I have to say, it felt good to have somebody I respect, recognize that I work to at being productive.
If your situation proves to be similar to mine—which it may not—try to apply these same principals to your life. Learn to feel comfortable telling people the truth. Try not to be embarrassed about your condition. Build your self-confidence by actively keeping yourself busy with a variety of activities. Be productive. This will be a valuable tool in maintaining your self-esteem.
Remember, your life has value. You are a person of importance. You have talents, skills, strengths, and qualities that make you a unique person of great worth. There is much you can contribute to the lives and the world around you. You have the ability to achieve many wonderful things. All you have to do is believe in yourself and work to make it happen.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Depression
The four-headed fire-breathing dragon of depression that’s sought to devour my Four-Points of Health is one I’ve battled many times. Depression may be a monster you also wrestle with. Living with a life-threatening illness can put strain on your mental and emotional health. Fretting over things like life expectancy, surviving the newest complication, managing pain, and trying to live a relatively normal life, all can weigh on you if you don’t find ways to relieve that stress. Fortunately, there are tools available to help you slay the dragon of depression.
I once asked friends and family, “If depression were a monster that you had to physically do battle with, what weapons would you use against it?” My dad gave the best answer when he said, “I’d throw chocolate ice cream at it.” Nice.
Depression is a mental health disorder that can influence diet, sleep, self-esteem, and your views about life. There are many kinds of depression disorders. If left untreated, they can last for months or years.
Some people think depression is a sign of personal weakness. Other people believe those suffering from depression can will themselves out of it simply by “not thinking about it.” Both are misconceptions. If you suffer from depression, it’s not because you are feeble minded or have some kind of shortcoming. Depression is a real disorder that sometimes requires medical and/or psychological treatment. Some of the symptoms of depression include:
➢ Having constant feelings of sadness
➢ Always feeling irritable or hopeless
➢ Difficulty sleeping
➢ Low energy or feeling fatigued
➢ Feelings of worthlessness
➢ Feeling guilty for no reason
➢ Experiencing a significant change in weight
➢ Difficulty concentrating
➢ A lack of desire to do favorite activities.
If you are experiencing many of these symptoms, and if they are present longer than two weeks, you may be suffering from depression. It would be wise to talk with your doctor about how you’re feeling.
Looking back to when I was a teen and a young adult, I see many periods of my life when I was severely depressed. I now realize how much I allowed pride to stand in the way of getting help. I told myself, “I should be able to control my own thoughts and how I feel.” I thought, “There’s nothing for me to be stressed or depressed about.” As a result, I frequently struggled to keep hope alive. I was often very irritable, angry and sad. I also struggled to control suicidal thoughts on a daily basis.
During those eight years of depression, there were times when I filled my hand with my entire month supply of pain medication and had to think of reasons not to down them all. My religious views and thoughts about how such an action would impact my family, especially my parents, were my saving graces.
Please don’t get the wrong idea of me. During that long stretch of depression, it wasn’t dark clouds and gloomy moods all the time. In fact, I expect most people who knew me had no clue, and would be totally surprised to learn, that I once struggled with suicidal thoughts. The Jon Monk nearly everybody outside the family saw was a jokester, happy, optimistic, and highly positive person; and I generally was. However, during that time in my life, the instant I was alone—whether I was driving by myself in my car or alone in my room—those darker feelings crashed upon me like waves upon the shore.
From ages nineteen to twenty-seven, this is what I experienced. Battling daily suicidal thoughts was something I thought I had to live with. I refused to believe my depression was something I couldn’t control. I also felt as though antidepressants had no place in my life. I was wrong on both accounts.
I once asked friends and family, “If depression were a monster that you had to physically do battle with, what weapons would you use against it?” My dad gave the best answer when he said, “I’d throw chocolate ice cream at it.” Nice.
Depression is a mental health disorder that can influence diet, sleep, self-esteem, and your views about life. There are many kinds of depression disorders. If left untreated, they can last for months or years.
Some people think depression is a sign of personal weakness. Other people believe those suffering from depression can will themselves out of it simply by “not thinking about it.” Both are misconceptions. If you suffer from depression, it’s not because you are feeble minded or have some kind of shortcoming. Depression is a real disorder that sometimes requires medical and/or psychological treatment. Some of the symptoms of depression include:
➢ Having constant feelings of sadness
➢ Always feeling irritable or hopeless
➢ Difficulty sleeping
➢ Low energy or feeling fatigued
➢ Feelings of worthlessness
➢ Feeling guilty for no reason
➢ Experiencing a significant change in weight
➢ Difficulty concentrating
➢ A lack of desire to do favorite activities.
If you are experiencing many of these symptoms, and if they are present longer than two weeks, you may be suffering from depression. It would be wise to talk with your doctor about how you’re feeling.
Looking back to when I was a teen and a young adult, I see many periods of my life when I was severely depressed. I now realize how much I allowed pride to stand in the way of getting help. I told myself, “I should be able to control my own thoughts and how I feel.” I thought, “There’s nothing for me to be stressed or depressed about.” As a result, I frequently struggled to keep hope alive. I was often very irritable, angry and sad. I also struggled to control suicidal thoughts on a daily basis.
During those eight years of depression, there were times when I filled my hand with my entire month supply of pain medication and had to think of reasons not to down them all. My religious views and thoughts about how such an action would impact my family, especially my parents, were my saving graces.
Please don’t get the wrong idea of me. During that long stretch of depression, it wasn’t dark clouds and gloomy moods all the time. In fact, I expect most people who knew me had no clue, and would be totally surprised to learn, that I once struggled with suicidal thoughts. The Jon Monk nearly everybody outside the family saw was a jokester, happy, optimistic, and highly positive person; and I generally was. However, during that time in my life, the instant I was alone—whether I was driving by myself in my car or alone in my room—those darker feelings crashed upon me like waves upon the shore.
From ages nineteen to twenty-seven, this is what I experienced. Battling daily suicidal thoughts was something I thought I had to live with. I refused to believe my depression was something I couldn’t control. I also felt as though antidepressants had no place in my life. I was wrong on both accounts.
Antidepressants
I was about twenty-six years old when I met a man in my church that greatly influenced my life. He was not only the leader of the congregation I attended, but he became a close friend. For most of his life he lived with diabetes, so he was able to relate to many of the things I experienced with Sickle Cell better than most.
He and I talked at length many, many, many times about the need for antidepressants. He saw their usefulness, whereas I wasn’t open to the idea. This was ironic because I was studying psychology in college. In time, he helped me understand there was no shame in admitting I had a problem with depression and a need to take antidepressants.
“But I should be able to control my own thoughts and emotions,” I argued.
“Jon,” he said tenderly, “you have a disease that affects your heart, your liver, your blood, and every part of your body. Who’s to say that it doesn’t also affect your brain or your brain chemistry too?” I couldn’t argue with that.
By age twenty-seven, depression was upsetting my life and relationships with other people so severely that—after eight years of struggle—I finally decided to talk with my doctors about it. My life profoundly changed for the better when I was prescribed an antidepressant.
For the first time in nearly eight years I felt like the Jon Monk I knew I truly was. My natural optimism returned, I laughed like I used to, and sincerely began enjoying life as I once did. The hopelessness I awoke with each morning left me. Most importantly, my daily struggle to control my suicidal thoughts was removed. I was Jon again! I can’t begin to describe how wonderful a feeling it was/is to not think about killing myself every single day; to not to have to struggle with a negativity that was as strong as my natural optimism. The absence of those thoughts was like a turbulent stormy ocean that had suddenly become calm and clear.
Don’t misunderstand, antidepressants are not happiness in a pill that will magically turn that frown upside down. Fighting depression also means doing everything necessary to maintain your mental, emotional and physical well-being. Serving others, eating healthy, exercising when able, getting out in the sun, proper sleep, and all the other things I’ve discussed helps the medication do its job to combat depression.
Antidepressants work by targeting and stabilizing the chemicals in the brain that control mood and emotion. If you begin taking antidepressants, it's important to know it can take six to eight weeks for your body to absorb the medicine. It takes time to receive and feel the full benefits of these kinds of prescriptions. Follow your doctor’s instructions, be patient and give it a chance to work.
It might also help to know, though you may have a current need for antidepressants, it doesn’t mean you always will. The source and type of your depression are factors that determine how long you stay on antidepressants. In addition, sometimes it’s a matter of trial and error to find the right medication, or combination of medications, to treat your depression. So do your best to not try your doctor’s patience by being an impatient patient by giving up too quickly.
One final note about antidepressants, make sure you talk with your doctor about the medication’s timeline. Some antidepressants are meant to be taken for only a couple of years. It may or may not be necessary to rotate your current prescription with a different antidepressant. Your doctor will be able to tell you if any of your prescriptions require special attention to the length of time taken.
He and I talked at length many, many, many times about the need for antidepressants. He saw their usefulness, whereas I wasn’t open to the idea. This was ironic because I was studying psychology in college. In time, he helped me understand there was no shame in admitting I had a problem with depression and a need to take antidepressants.
“But I should be able to control my own thoughts and emotions,” I argued.
“Jon,” he said tenderly, “you have a disease that affects your heart, your liver, your blood, and every part of your body. Who’s to say that it doesn’t also affect your brain or your brain chemistry too?” I couldn’t argue with that.
By age twenty-seven, depression was upsetting my life and relationships with other people so severely that—after eight years of struggle—I finally decided to talk with my doctors about it. My life profoundly changed for the better when I was prescribed an antidepressant.
For the first time in nearly eight years I felt like the Jon Monk I knew I truly was. My natural optimism returned, I laughed like I used to, and sincerely began enjoying life as I once did. The hopelessness I awoke with each morning left me. Most importantly, my daily struggle to control my suicidal thoughts was removed. I was Jon again! I can’t begin to describe how wonderful a feeling it was/is to not think about killing myself every single day; to not to have to struggle with a negativity that was as strong as my natural optimism. The absence of those thoughts was like a turbulent stormy ocean that had suddenly become calm and clear.
Don’t misunderstand, antidepressants are not happiness in a pill that will magically turn that frown upside down. Fighting depression also means doing everything necessary to maintain your mental, emotional and physical well-being. Serving others, eating healthy, exercising when able, getting out in the sun, proper sleep, and all the other things I’ve discussed helps the medication do its job to combat depression.
Antidepressants work by targeting and stabilizing the chemicals in the brain that control mood and emotion. If you begin taking antidepressants, it's important to know it can take six to eight weeks for your body to absorb the medicine. It takes time to receive and feel the full benefits of these kinds of prescriptions. Follow your doctor’s instructions, be patient and give it a chance to work.
It might also help to know, though you may have a current need for antidepressants, it doesn’t mean you always will. The source and type of your depression are factors that determine how long you stay on antidepressants. In addition, sometimes it’s a matter of trial and error to find the right medication, or combination of medications, to treat your depression. So do your best to not try your doctor’s patience by being an impatient patient by giving up too quickly.
One final note about antidepressants, make sure you talk with your doctor about the medication’s timeline. Some antidepressants are meant to be taken for only a couple of years. It may or may not be necessary to rotate your current prescription with a different antidepressant. Your doctor will be able to tell you if any of your prescriptions require special attention to the length of time taken.
Counseling
Sometimes people with long-term health problems, like Sickle Cell, feel cheated in life. Perhaps you can relate to this and similarly feel cheated out of time with friends or out of the life you wish to live. I know how heavy these kinds of thoughts can weigh on the mind. Though these feelings may seem justified, take care in how you deal with them. Other wise you could find yourself, like Darth Vader, consumed by the dark side of the Force.
Talking with a psychologist—often called counseling—may be what you need to help in the coping process of living with Sickle Cell. Counseling and taking antidepressants often go hand in hand. A good psychologist can:
➢ Help you accept the fact that you live with a chronic illness
➢ Provide instruction on how to handle the physical and emotional pain you endure
➢ Be a person who will listen to your deepest concerns and fears without you having to worry about being judged by them
➢ Help you resolve any conflict you may have within yourself or with others.
When I was young, I thought counseling was for people who had a horribly abusive family life, for disturbed people who liked hurting animals, for psychopaths, lunatics, and for individuals whose father was also their uncle and their brother. I thought going to a psychologist meant there was really something wrong with you. I didn’t know everyday people often have things they need or should talk with a psychologist about. Nor did I understand how a psychologist could help average people come to terms with their problems.
When I was about thirty-one years old, I had a relapse in my depression that was largely triggered by staying on the antidepressant I had been taking for over three years, for too long a time. Unbeknownst to me, and overlooked by my doctors, two years was the maximum length of time I was supposed to be on that medication. This resulted in what my doctor called “the bottoming out” of that antidepressant. This is where the medication stops working and plunges you into a deeply depressed state. When this happened to me, it caused me to experience depression on a scale like nothing I’d ever gone through before.
I can only describe my experience as supercharged, mega-performance enhanced depression on steroids that threw me into a deep dark pit of emotional despair. It was a horrific event I don’t care to ever repeat. For one thing, those suicidal thoughts that had been absent for three years returned with a vengeance. Where I once only thought of ways to take my life, with this round of depression, images of actually taking my life played with vivid detail in my mind. They were powerful and intrusive images that I struggled to control. It took nearly a year of finding the right balance of antidepressants, at the proper dosage, accompanied with counseling before I felt I was back to being Jon, again.
The psychiatrist I was seeing during that hellish time helped me come to terms with the biggest issue I had about my depression, my need to take antidepressants. Before this incident occurred, though I had been taking an antidepressant for a few years, it never occurred to me that I might have a long term need for them. I hated the idea of always having to rely on medication to keep the depression away. However, I could not deny the fact that for over three years I lived without having daily thoughts of taking my own life; quite the opposite, I was happy to be alive. Eventually I accepted the truth that, like my pain pills and other medications, antidepressants were something I needed to some degree to stay mentally healthy.
With time, counseling, antidepressants, and much prayer I eventually recovered from that awful experience. There was a period during that time when I was taking three different antidepressants at once. Since my recovery, I’ve had no need for counseling and little need for antidepressants. (I say “little need” because the last of the antidepressants I’m taking is used to treat my insomnia more than my depression.) Additionally, the constant suicidal thoughts I once daily battled with, have long since fled. For nearly ten years, my enthusiasm for life has been . . . well . . . the only word I can think of is, wonderful.
Where I once was always angry and on edge, I’m now at peace. Where I once thought of all the different ways I could take my own life, I’m now happy to be alive. Where I once couldn’t imagine living another year, I now look forward to the years ahead of me.
If you’re at a place in your life where all you feel is darkness, sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, or have recurring thoughts of death and dying, listen to someone who has experienced it and get some help. For nearly eight years of my life I struggled daily to control my suicidal thoughts. For nearly eight years I believed it was just something I had to live with. For nearly eight years I was wrong by not admitting to myself that I needed help.
If you are silently experiencing something similar, please, know you don’t have to live like that. You can get help. It doesn’t mean you are weak and it doesn’t mean you can’t control your emotions. It may simply mean your body chemistry is out of balance or the electrical impulses in your brain aren’t firing properly. There is no cause to feel ashamed or embarrassed about that. Remember, depression is a disorder the same as Sickle Cell, and there’s no shame in it. Talk to your doctor so he/she can help you. You can find joy in life again. And life can be so very sweet.
Talking with a psychologist—often called counseling—may be what you need to help in the coping process of living with Sickle Cell. Counseling and taking antidepressants often go hand in hand. A good psychologist can:
➢ Help you accept the fact that you live with a chronic illness
➢ Provide instruction on how to handle the physical and emotional pain you endure
➢ Be a person who will listen to your deepest concerns and fears without you having to worry about being judged by them
➢ Help you resolve any conflict you may have within yourself or with others.
When I was young, I thought counseling was for people who had a horribly abusive family life, for disturbed people who liked hurting animals, for psychopaths, lunatics, and for individuals whose father was also their uncle and their brother. I thought going to a psychologist meant there was really something wrong with you. I didn’t know everyday people often have things they need or should talk with a psychologist about. Nor did I understand how a psychologist could help average people come to terms with their problems.
When I was about thirty-one years old, I had a relapse in my depression that was largely triggered by staying on the antidepressant I had been taking for over three years, for too long a time. Unbeknownst to me, and overlooked by my doctors, two years was the maximum length of time I was supposed to be on that medication. This resulted in what my doctor called “the bottoming out” of that antidepressant. This is where the medication stops working and plunges you into a deeply depressed state. When this happened to me, it caused me to experience depression on a scale like nothing I’d ever gone through before.
I can only describe my experience as supercharged, mega-performance enhanced depression on steroids that threw me into a deep dark pit of emotional despair. It was a horrific event I don’t care to ever repeat. For one thing, those suicidal thoughts that had been absent for three years returned with a vengeance. Where I once only thought of ways to take my life, with this round of depression, images of actually taking my life played with vivid detail in my mind. They were powerful and intrusive images that I struggled to control. It took nearly a year of finding the right balance of antidepressants, at the proper dosage, accompanied with counseling before I felt I was back to being Jon, again.
The psychiatrist I was seeing during that hellish time helped me come to terms with the biggest issue I had about my depression, my need to take antidepressants. Before this incident occurred, though I had been taking an antidepressant for a few years, it never occurred to me that I might have a long term need for them. I hated the idea of always having to rely on medication to keep the depression away. However, I could not deny the fact that for over three years I lived without having daily thoughts of taking my own life; quite the opposite, I was happy to be alive. Eventually I accepted the truth that, like my pain pills and other medications, antidepressants were something I needed to some degree to stay mentally healthy.
With time, counseling, antidepressants, and much prayer I eventually recovered from that awful experience. There was a period during that time when I was taking three different antidepressants at once. Since my recovery, I’ve had no need for counseling and little need for antidepressants. (I say “little need” because the last of the antidepressants I’m taking is used to treat my insomnia more than my depression.) Additionally, the constant suicidal thoughts I once daily battled with, have long since fled. For nearly ten years, my enthusiasm for life has been . . . well . . . the only word I can think of is, wonderful.
Where I once was always angry and on edge, I’m now at peace. Where I once thought of all the different ways I could take my own life, I’m now happy to be alive. Where I once couldn’t imagine living another year, I now look forward to the years ahead of me.
If you’re at a place in your life where all you feel is darkness, sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, or have recurring thoughts of death and dying, listen to someone who has experienced it and get some help. For nearly eight years of my life I struggled daily to control my suicidal thoughts. For nearly eight years I believed it was just something I had to live with. For nearly eight years I was wrong by not admitting to myself that I needed help.
If you are silently experiencing something similar, please, know you don’t have to live like that. You can get help. It doesn’t mean you are weak and it doesn’t mean you can’t control your emotions. It may simply mean your body chemistry is out of balance or the electrical impulses in your brain aren’t firing properly. There is no cause to feel ashamed or embarrassed about that. Remember, depression is a disorder the same as Sickle Cell, and there’s no shame in it. Talk to your doctor so he/she can help you. You can find joy in life again. And life can be so very sweet.
Understanding the Link
I don’t know about you, but I love chocolate chip cookies. When I feel like making some, there are instructions I have to follow and certain ingredients I must to mix together. If I stick to the recipe, I’ll get some mighty good tasting chocolate chip cookies—not that I’m boasting about my excellent baking ability. If I don’t follow the recipe, I may end up with something that tastes pretty bad.
Life can be like chocolate chip cookies; warm, sweet and fulfilling. But there’s a catch. You have to follow the recipe. So what is the recipe to making a chocolate chip cookie life? My recipe contains the following ingredients.
I have found there are four key points to my health that I must manage in order to be as healthy as possible. Each of these points are inseparably connected to one another; and each impacts the other. If any one gets out of balance, there are negative consequences. I call them, appropriately named, “The 4-Points of Health” (I know, it’s not a very creative name, but it works). Those four points are: spiritual health, mental health, emotional health, and physical health. Together, they form a diamond—the hardest natural substance found on earth.
The spiritual is the foundation of everything in my life. Carefully balanced on either side is my mental and emotional health. Together, all three help support my physical health. When something throws my mental, emotional, or spiritual health off balance, my body will suffer the consequences every time. However, when all four are in check, I’m able to enjoy better health and more easily cope with any complications Sickle Cell may throw at me.
I believe “The 4-Points of Health” have application to everybody everywhere. However, as a result of living with a chronic illness, you and I have to take extra special care of our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. By understanding that all four of these points are linked together, you improve your chances at living a happier and healthier life.
Life can be like chocolate chip cookies; warm, sweet and fulfilling. But there’s a catch. You have to follow the recipe. So what is the recipe to making a chocolate chip cookie life? My recipe contains the following ingredients.
I have found there are four key points to my health that I must manage in order to be as healthy as possible. Each of these points are inseparably connected to one another; and each impacts the other. If any one gets out of balance, there are negative consequences. I call them, appropriately named, “The 4-Points of Health” (I know, it’s not a very creative name, but it works). Those four points are: spiritual health, mental health, emotional health, and physical health. Together, they form a diamond—the hardest natural substance found on earth.
The spiritual is the foundation of everything in my life. Carefully balanced on either side is my mental and emotional health. Together, all three help support my physical health. When something throws my mental, emotional, or spiritual health off balance, my body will suffer the consequences every time. However, when all four are in check, I’m able to enjoy better health and more easily cope with any complications Sickle Cell may throw at me.
I believe “The 4-Points of Health” have application to everybody everywhere. However, as a result of living with a chronic illness, you and I have to take extra special care of our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. By understanding that all four of these points are linked together, you improve your chances at living a happier and healthier life.
EMOTIONAL HEALTH - Having A Positive Outlook
Emotional health obviously pertains to the kinds of feelings that you have. The circumstances of life can sometimes cause you to become stuck in an emotional rut. Depression, anger, guilt, and fear are a few examples of emotions that can disrupt emotional harmony.
Looking back at my life, there have been times when my emotional health was certainly very poor. During these periods, anger was the emotion that seemed to prevail within me. My anger wasn’t of a violent nature. The kind of anger I experienced was an extreme lack of patience with other people and their faults. I also had a tendency to be short tempered and yell at others over stupid things.
Choosing to have a positive outlook goes a long way in surviving life’s adversities and helps keep you out of the rut of negative emotions. Laughing, after all, feels so much better than anger. I know it seems like you have many valid reasons to be unhappy. Trust me when I say, it doesn’t help one bit to dwell on those reasons. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings, and negative feelings, in your case, will lead to poorer health. I’ve learned this first hand time and time again.
When I’ve allowed myself to remain upset or unhappy for long periods of time, it didn’t take long before my health deteriorated. The opposite has also been true. When I’ve been ill for extended periods and made the choice to be cheerful rather than gloomy, I’ve been able to endure my pain much better.
Staying positive doesn’t mean you ignore your hardships. It means you accept them and deal with them as best you can while hoping for a positive outcome. Laughing and having a sense of humor can help relieve stress. Why lug around heavy handbags of anxiety when you can lighten your load with laughter?
To take an example from my life, I’ll share something with you that I recently endured. In September of 2011, my third battle with foot ulcers reared its ugly head; or in my case, its ugly foot. Over a period of many weeks, one ulcer on my left foot turned into three very large and painful ulcers that, together, covered nearly half of my foot. The discomfort, needless to say, was great.
For a period of nearly six months, I struggled with these ulcers; and for most of that time I was unable to be socially active in the way I was use to. Having to be isolated for so long was difficult. For a time, I found myself battling depression as well as my foot ulcers. With the pain and discomfort the wounds brought, it would have been easy to have thrown a self-pity party for myself; but honestly, who would show up for a pity part? I knew, however, that entertaining such thoughts would fill me with a negative energy; and I didn’t need that.
It’s been fourteen months and some of those ulcers still haven’t healed. It would be a lie to tell you that I never get discouraged. There are days when I feel frustrated and a little depressed. Meditation helps; talking with friends and family is useful; reading the struggles of other Sickle Cell patients on the Internet also helps me keep things in perspective.
I remind myself that things could be worse. My ulcers could be on my right foot, which would have made driving impossible (my car is an automatic, so I don’t have to press any petals with my left foot). I could have ulcers on both feet. Or the ulcers could have covered my entire foot rather than nearly half. I’m fortunate that I’m recently having problems with ulcers; some patients struggle with them for years. Things could always be worse.
If you don’t believe that I’m correct when I say that your physical health is closely tied to your emotions, do this: access the memory banks of the supercomputer that is your brain. Has there ever been a time when you physically felt just fine, then somebody said or did something that was so upsetting to you that it triggered a pain crisis right then? I would be surprised if the answer is no. Now imagine being angry or depressed for months or years. If one emotionally upsetting event can trigger a crisis on the spot, how much worse is your health going to be if you keep a negative outlook for a long period of time? The impact your emotions have upon your physical body is profound. Do your best to always have a positive perspective.
Looking back at my life, there have been times when my emotional health was certainly very poor. During these periods, anger was the emotion that seemed to prevail within me. My anger wasn’t of a violent nature. The kind of anger I experienced was an extreme lack of patience with other people and their faults. I also had a tendency to be short tempered and yell at others over stupid things.
Choosing to have a positive outlook goes a long way in surviving life’s adversities and helps keep you out of the rut of negative emotions. Laughing, after all, feels so much better than anger. I know it seems like you have many valid reasons to be unhappy. Trust me when I say, it doesn’t help one bit to dwell on those reasons. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings, and negative feelings, in your case, will lead to poorer health. I’ve learned this first hand time and time again.
When I’ve allowed myself to remain upset or unhappy for long periods of time, it didn’t take long before my health deteriorated. The opposite has also been true. When I’ve been ill for extended periods and made the choice to be cheerful rather than gloomy, I’ve been able to endure my pain much better.
Staying positive doesn’t mean you ignore your hardships. It means you accept them and deal with them as best you can while hoping for a positive outcome. Laughing and having a sense of humor can help relieve stress. Why lug around heavy handbags of anxiety when you can lighten your load with laughter?
To take an example from my life, I’ll share something with you that I recently endured. In September of 2011, my third battle with foot ulcers reared its ugly head; or in my case, its ugly foot. Over a period of many weeks, one ulcer on my left foot turned into three very large and painful ulcers that, together, covered nearly half of my foot. The discomfort, needless to say, was great.
For a period of nearly six months, I struggled with these ulcers; and for most of that time I was unable to be socially active in the way I was use to. Having to be isolated for so long was difficult. For a time, I found myself battling depression as well as my foot ulcers. With the pain and discomfort the wounds brought, it would have been easy to have thrown a self-pity party for myself; but honestly, who would show up for a pity part? I knew, however, that entertaining such thoughts would fill me with a negative energy; and I didn’t need that.
It’s been fourteen months and some of those ulcers still haven’t healed. It would be a lie to tell you that I never get discouraged. There are days when I feel frustrated and a little depressed. Meditation helps; talking with friends and family is useful; reading the struggles of other Sickle Cell patients on the Internet also helps me keep things in perspective.
I remind myself that things could be worse. My ulcers could be on my right foot, which would have made driving impossible (my car is an automatic, so I don’t have to press any petals with my left foot). I could have ulcers on both feet. Or the ulcers could have covered my entire foot rather than nearly half. I’m fortunate that I’m recently having problems with ulcers; some patients struggle with them for years. Things could always be worse.
If you don’t believe that I’m correct when I say that your physical health is closely tied to your emotions, do this: access the memory banks of the supercomputer that is your brain. Has there ever been a time when you physically felt just fine, then somebody said or did something that was so upsetting to you that it triggered a pain crisis right then? I would be surprised if the answer is no. Now imagine being angry or depressed for months or years. If one emotionally upsetting event can trigger a crisis on the spot, how much worse is your health going to be if you keep a negative outlook for a long period of time? The impact your emotions have upon your physical body is profound. Do your best to always have a positive perspective.
MENTAL HEALTH - Use Your Time
To you, mental health might mean something else, but I think of mental health as having to do with:
➢ A person’s ability to cope with life and the things life throws at them
➢ One’s ability to obtain and maintain a sense of well-being
➢ The view a person has of themselves
➢ Mental health disorders such as Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Schizophrenia, and Depression to name a few.
When working at maintaining my mental health, I keep a circle of friends who are happy people who are naturally optimistic. It’s much easier to be positive when surrounded by positive people.
One of the reasons many people become depressed is because they fail to occupy their mind and time with positive activities. Some sit around the house thinking about how miserable their life is, which only makes them more unhappy. Be careful to not allow yourself to fall into this trap. My mental health is largely dependant on keeping my mind busy and being productive. For me, it’s a must.
Living with Sickle Cell Anemia often means having a great amount of down time. Why not use that time to your advantage? For example, you can use your free time to:
➢ Complete makeup homework from school
➢ Start a new hobby or finish a project
➢ Read a book or write a story
➢ Learn to play chess or a musical instrument
➢ Keep a journal or start a scrapbook
➢ Learn to draw or paint
➢ Improve yourself in any way you desire.
I have always tried to find something to do while doing nothing; activities that requires little physical effort. This includes: arts, crafts, reading, writing, and scrapbooking. In doing so, I receive satisfaction in knowing I’m being productive with my time rather than feeling like I’m a lazy toad sitting on a bump on a log.
Finding ways to occupy yourself with your down time can prevent depression, distract you from your pain, be a means of releasing emotional stress, and a source of self-expression. Knowing you are using your time to better yourself will boost your self-worth.
In life it’s common to hear people say, “I wish I had the time to do this,” or “I wish I could learn to do that.” Try to realize that you’ve been given a gift—you have the time most people don’t have to do the things you want.
➢ A person’s ability to cope with life and the things life throws at them
➢ One’s ability to obtain and maintain a sense of well-being
➢ The view a person has of themselves
➢ Mental health disorders such as Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Schizophrenia, and Depression to name a few.
When working at maintaining my mental health, I keep a circle of friends who are happy people who are naturally optimistic. It’s much easier to be positive when surrounded by positive people.
One of the reasons many people become depressed is because they fail to occupy their mind and time with positive activities. Some sit around the house thinking about how miserable their life is, which only makes them more unhappy. Be careful to not allow yourself to fall into this trap. My mental health is largely dependant on keeping my mind busy and being productive. For me, it’s a must.
Living with Sickle Cell Anemia often means having a great amount of down time. Why not use that time to your advantage? For example, you can use your free time to:
➢ Complete makeup homework from school
➢ Start a new hobby or finish a project
➢ Read a book or write a story
➢ Learn to play chess or a musical instrument
➢ Keep a journal or start a scrapbook
➢ Learn to draw or paint
➢ Improve yourself in any way you desire.
I have always tried to find something to do while doing nothing; activities that requires little physical effort. This includes: arts, crafts, reading, writing, and scrapbooking. In doing so, I receive satisfaction in knowing I’m being productive with my time rather than feeling like I’m a lazy toad sitting on a bump on a log.
Finding ways to occupy yourself with your down time can prevent depression, distract you from your pain, be a means of releasing emotional stress, and a source of self-expression. Knowing you are using your time to better yourself will boost your self-worth.
In life it’s common to hear people say, “I wish I had the time to do this,” or “I wish I could learn to do that.” Try to realize that you’ve been given a gift—you have the time most people don’t have to do the things you want.
Remove Unnecessary Stress
Managing the stress in your life plays a large role in staying mentally healthy. In truth, stress will impact each of your 4-Points of Health if not dealt with in healthy ways. I learned early in life that my stress level has a huge influence upon my 4-Points of Health. This is true for everyone, but it’s even more so for people with Sickle Cell, or any chronic illness for that matter.
A stressful event may impact a healthy person, or their health, rather mildly. With Sickle Cell patients, however, the consequences can be more severe. Stress can come from many sources, such as:
➢ Changing schools / Moving to a new area
➢ A big up coming test
➢ Competing in sports / Extracurricular Activities
➢ Death of a loved one
➢ Parents divorcing / Problems at home
➢ A stressful job / Loss of a job
➢ A schedule that’s too busy
➢ Toxic friendships or relationships.
I recall being in middle school and high school. When a big test was just around the corner, I almost always became ill right before the test day. It forced me to learn to not allow myself to become so tense about tests and other stressful events in life.
It’s important to be aware of the stressors in your life and look for ways to relieve the pressure they cause. If reducing the anxiety you experience means taking a less difficult class, playing fewer sports, changing your work schedule or becoming less involved in some of the things you enjoy, then that’s what needs to be done. Though some stress is unavoidable, you can’t afford to have an excessive amount. Otherwise you might find yourself fitted for a teen sized straitjacket and sleeping in a padded room.
Reducing stress may at times require making a change with the people you associate with. Supportive friends can be a source of great strength. However, should there come a time when a certain friend or love interest brings unnecessary stress into your life, you may have to consider making some adjustments.
Keeping yourself healthy should be one of the highest priorities in your life. That means sometimes doing what’s best for you. I’m sad to say I’ve had several friendships where I had no choice but to end them. These friendships were bringing an unhealthy amount of stress into my life, and my physical health was suffering the consequences. To stop being friends with somebody I was once very close to has never been an easy task. However, for the good of my health, that’s the choice I’ve had to make on more than one occasion.
Hopefully you will never be faced with such a decision. Good friends are hard to come by and it’s a shame to loose one. With that said, understand your health takes priority. It must come first. Whether it’s a person, an event, a hobby, job, or some other element that’s bringing unneeded stress into your life, it’s best to remove it. Doing so will help you enjoy a healthier life far from a hospital.
A stressful event may impact a healthy person, or their health, rather mildly. With Sickle Cell patients, however, the consequences can be more severe. Stress can come from many sources, such as:
➢ Changing schools / Moving to a new area
➢ A big up coming test
➢ Competing in sports / Extracurricular Activities
➢ Death of a loved one
➢ Parents divorcing / Problems at home
➢ A stressful job / Loss of a job
➢ A schedule that’s too busy
➢ Toxic friendships or relationships.
I recall being in middle school and high school. When a big test was just around the corner, I almost always became ill right before the test day. It forced me to learn to not allow myself to become so tense about tests and other stressful events in life.
It’s important to be aware of the stressors in your life and look for ways to relieve the pressure they cause. If reducing the anxiety you experience means taking a less difficult class, playing fewer sports, changing your work schedule or becoming less involved in some of the things you enjoy, then that’s what needs to be done. Though some stress is unavoidable, you can’t afford to have an excessive amount. Otherwise you might find yourself fitted for a teen sized straitjacket and sleeping in a padded room.
Reducing stress may at times require making a change with the people you associate with. Supportive friends can be a source of great strength. However, should there come a time when a certain friend or love interest brings unnecessary stress into your life, you may have to consider making some adjustments.
Keeping yourself healthy should be one of the highest priorities in your life. That means sometimes doing what’s best for you. I’m sad to say I’ve had several friendships where I had no choice but to end them. These friendships were bringing an unhealthy amount of stress into my life, and my physical health was suffering the consequences. To stop being friends with somebody I was once very close to has never been an easy task. However, for the good of my health, that’s the choice I’ve had to make on more than one occasion.
Hopefully you will never be faced with such a decision. Good friends are hard to come by and it’s a shame to loose one. With that said, understand your health takes priority. It must come first. Whether it’s a person, an event, a hobby, job, or some other element that’s bringing unneeded stress into your life, it’s best to remove it. Doing so will help you enjoy a healthier life far from a hospital.
PHYSICAL HEALTH - Find an Outlet
Clearly, the theme of my posts is how to sustain good health in your life. One way or another, your physical health is impacted by nearly everything you experience. It’s natural—as a byproduct of living with Sickle Cell—to feel at times angry, sad, frustrated, or any number of negative emotions. What matters is how you deal with those feelings. Don’t allow those unpleasant thoughts to take control of your life. Finding healthy ways to purge the negativities that often get bottled up inside is an essential part of keeping all four points of your health sound.
When I say “find an outlet,” I mean look for a physical activity you can do that will allow you to release your frustrations and anxieties. My outlet has taken many forms throughout my life. As a teenager I was physically able to do more than I can today. Some of my outlets then included tap and jazz dancing, low intense weight lifting, racquetball, volleyball, and other sports. As I grew older and less able to physically tolerate those kinds of activities, I found other recreations, like playing pool and darts. Riding my bicycle and walking my dog are the current physical activities I’m still able to enjoy.
Occasionally, if I’m feeling good enough, I can still play a game of volleyball now and again. Washing, waxing, and detailing my car—which is both enjoyable and physically tiring—has become an effective stress reliever for me. Often I will walk the mall or stroll through my favorite store just to get some exercise. Doing light yard work is also a useful outlet.
Though these aren’t physical activities, art, journal and poetry writing have been, and still are, the outlets I use most. They are something I can always do no matter how good or bad I may be feeling. They have been my emotional dumping ground. My journal is a place where I can unload what’s inside and instantly feel better. Whatever their form, the outlets I’ve used have significantly increased my ability to cope with my illness; and that is the reason why I have nearly fifty volumes in my journal collection. My journal writing is the reason why I’m still sane; at least, that’s what the voices inside my head tell me.
I strongly encourage you find your own outlet. Perhaps your health is at a place where it will allow you to use sports or other physical activities for this purpose. If so, just be wise and modify your activities, as your health requires. Whatever interests you have, use them as a coping tool to better endure life’s curveballs. Living well with Sickle Cell will become a little bit easier as you do.
When I say “find an outlet,” I mean look for a physical activity you can do that will allow you to release your frustrations and anxieties. My outlet has taken many forms throughout my life. As a teenager I was physically able to do more than I can today. Some of my outlets then included tap and jazz dancing, low intense weight lifting, racquetball, volleyball, and other sports. As I grew older and less able to physically tolerate those kinds of activities, I found other recreations, like playing pool and darts. Riding my bicycle and walking my dog are the current physical activities I’m still able to enjoy.
Occasionally, if I’m feeling good enough, I can still play a game of volleyball now and again. Washing, waxing, and detailing my car—which is both enjoyable and physically tiring—has become an effective stress reliever for me. Often I will walk the mall or stroll through my favorite store just to get some exercise. Doing light yard work is also a useful outlet.
Though these aren’t physical activities, art, journal and poetry writing have been, and still are, the outlets I use most. They are something I can always do no matter how good or bad I may be feeling. They have been my emotional dumping ground. My journal is a place where I can unload what’s inside and instantly feel better. Whatever their form, the outlets I’ve used have significantly increased my ability to cope with my illness; and that is the reason why I have nearly fifty volumes in my journal collection. My journal writing is the reason why I’m still sane; at least, that’s what the voices inside my head tell me.
I strongly encourage you find your own outlet. Perhaps your health is at a place where it will allow you to use sports or other physical activities for this purpose. If so, just be wise and modify your activities, as your health requires. Whatever interests you have, use them as a coping tool to better endure life’s curveballs. Living well with Sickle Cell will become a little bit easier as you do.
SPIRITUAL HEALTH - Develop Your Spirituality
So, what does it mean to be spiritually healthy? Ultimately, the answer to that is something you will have to discover for yourself. I think spiritual health may mean different things to different people. For some people it may mean being at peace with who you are; it may include feeling connected to something that is spiritually greater than yourself. For others it may mean having a clear vision of their purpose in life.
For me, being spiritually healthy means living by my religious convictions, and being happy while doing so. It means having a peaceful mind and an inner harmony. My spiritual health is inseparably connected with my relationship with God and feeling my actions are in harmony with His will. It also means living in such a way so I feel God’s presence in my life and His approval of how I’m living it.
I believe hope is as much a necessity of life as water is. Hope is the light that shines brightly within no matter how much darkness may surround us without. Maintaining hope and strengthening your spiritual health while living with a chronic illness can be a difficult challenge. So the question is, how do you do keep yourself spiritually fit and keep hope alive within yourself? All I can do is tell you how I have done it and how I believe you can do the same.
The brightest, most powerful source of hope that has seen me through the darkest of times in my life has been my religious beliefs. My faith in God and my spiritual well-being are what sustain me. I’ll do my best to not get too preachy on you.
Though active and very devoted to my faith, I encourage religious activity, regardless of the name on the building, to everybody, especially to people who have serious health problems. I say this for many reasons.
First, church can provide you with a support network; a group of people who sincerely love and care for you. A people united by faith are a people united by love. With that love comes a wealth of emotional and spiritual strength. Surrounding yourself with likeminded people who are happy, optimistic, and spiritual...it’s a priceless tool when living with a chronic illness. In my life, this has not just been a tool, but a power tool.
Second, the teachings of ones faith can be like a water well from which you can draw an endless supply of hope. Knowing a Higher Power is involved in your life will help you to not feel as alone or discouraged about your circumstance. Believing there is a loving Creator helping you through your struggles enables you to better endure them. I believe there is purpose in everything that happens in life. The teachings I’ve accepted as truth about the purpose of life on earth, why we are here, and what happens to us after we die are what have kept me from becoming an angry bitter person. These, and many other things connected with my faith, give me the strength to make it through each day. Often it’s what gives me the strength to make it through hour by hour and moment by moment.
The third reason I encourage you to find a religion that works for you has to do with depression. I’ll talk more about depression in the next section, but as it pertains to religion, here are some facts to consider.
Studies have shown that people who have a chronic illness are 15%-20% more likely to suffer from depression than the average person. However, those who use their religious beliefs to help cope with their illness are much less affected by depression. Studies have also shown the more serious one’s illness, the greater benefit their faith is in coping with their illness. This has certainly has been true for me. Depression has raised its ugly head many times in my life. I feel those times of darkness would have been greater in number without my religious views. I also believe I would not have survived some of those bouts with depression without my faith.
Finally, going to church can be good for your social needs as well as your spiritual. At church you may find people your same age, with similar interests and moral standards. This opens doors for developing lasting and meaningful relationships. Nearly every relationship that has had meaning in my life came directly from my church activity. Each of those friendships touched me in ways that made me a better man.
Just to echo what I’ve said before, remember your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health are all linked together. In order to remain physically healthy you have to care for each of those four points. Finding a source from which you can draw spiritual strength will be a blessing to you every minute of your life. Spirituality will give you the strength to persevere when it seems like everything else is crashing down around you. God does exist my friend. He loves you. He is there for you. Draw from the power that comes with that knowledge.
If you don’t go to church, talk with your family about it. Maybe finding a place to worship is something you can do together. If that isn’t possible, ask your friends if they go to church and see if you can go with them. If you and your family find a certain faith doesn’t fit your wants or needs, don’t give up. There are plenty of churches to try. Whichever faith you choose make sure it’s a positive and uplifting influence in your life.
If you feel religion isn’t for you, perhaps you’re able to find spirituality in some other form I haven’t mentioned. Whatever works for you, I encourage you to seek a source that can nourish your spiritual needs. These are the ingredients that have worked for me in my quest for a chocolate chip cookie life. It’s up to you to learn for yourself if these ingredients can do the same for you.
For me, being spiritually healthy means living by my religious convictions, and being happy while doing so. It means having a peaceful mind and an inner harmony. My spiritual health is inseparably connected with my relationship with God and feeling my actions are in harmony with His will. It also means living in such a way so I feel God’s presence in my life and His approval of how I’m living it.
I believe hope is as much a necessity of life as water is. Hope is the light that shines brightly within no matter how much darkness may surround us without. Maintaining hope and strengthening your spiritual health while living with a chronic illness can be a difficult challenge. So the question is, how do you do keep yourself spiritually fit and keep hope alive within yourself? All I can do is tell you how I have done it and how I believe you can do the same.
The brightest, most powerful source of hope that has seen me through the darkest of times in my life has been my religious beliefs. My faith in God and my spiritual well-being are what sustain me. I’ll do my best to not get too preachy on you.
Though active and very devoted to my faith, I encourage religious activity, regardless of the name on the building, to everybody, especially to people who have serious health problems. I say this for many reasons.
First, church can provide you with a support network; a group of people who sincerely love and care for you. A people united by faith are a people united by love. With that love comes a wealth of emotional and spiritual strength. Surrounding yourself with likeminded people who are happy, optimistic, and spiritual...it’s a priceless tool when living with a chronic illness. In my life, this has not just been a tool, but a power tool.
Second, the teachings of ones faith can be like a water well from which you can draw an endless supply of hope. Knowing a Higher Power is involved in your life will help you to not feel as alone or discouraged about your circumstance. Believing there is a loving Creator helping you through your struggles enables you to better endure them. I believe there is purpose in everything that happens in life. The teachings I’ve accepted as truth about the purpose of life on earth, why we are here, and what happens to us after we die are what have kept me from becoming an angry bitter person. These, and many other things connected with my faith, give me the strength to make it through each day. Often it’s what gives me the strength to make it through hour by hour and moment by moment.
The third reason I encourage you to find a religion that works for you has to do with depression. I’ll talk more about depression in the next section, but as it pertains to religion, here are some facts to consider.
Studies have shown that people who have a chronic illness are 15%-20% more likely to suffer from depression than the average person. However, those who use their religious beliefs to help cope with their illness are much less affected by depression. Studies have also shown the more serious one’s illness, the greater benefit their faith is in coping with their illness. This has certainly has been true for me. Depression has raised its ugly head many times in my life. I feel those times of darkness would have been greater in number without my religious views. I also believe I would not have survived some of those bouts with depression without my faith.
Finally, going to church can be good for your social needs as well as your spiritual. At church you may find people your same age, with similar interests and moral standards. This opens doors for developing lasting and meaningful relationships. Nearly every relationship that has had meaning in my life came directly from my church activity. Each of those friendships touched me in ways that made me a better man.
Just to echo what I’ve said before, remember your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health are all linked together. In order to remain physically healthy you have to care for each of those four points. Finding a source from which you can draw spiritual strength will be a blessing to you every minute of your life. Spirituality will give you the strength to persevere when it seems like everything else is crashing down around you. God does exist my friend. He loves you. He is there for you. Draw from the power that comes with that knowledge.
If you don’t go to church, talk with your family about it. Maybe finding a place to worship is something you can do together. If that isn’t possible, ask your friends if they go to church and see if you can go with them. If you and your family find a certain faith doesn’t fit your wants or needs, don’t give up. There are plenty of churches to try. Whichever faith you choose make sure it’s a positive and uplifting influence in your life.
If you feel religion isn’t for you, perhaps you’re able to find spirituality in some other form I haven’t mentioned. Whatever works for you, I encourage you to seek a source that can nourish your spiritual needs. These are the ingredients that have worked for me in my quest for a chocolate chip cookie life. It’s up to you to learn for yourself if these ingredients can do the same for you.
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