SCD & Emotional Barriers #6: Breaking them Down

It kind of goes without saying...living with Sickle Cell requires that you have an awesome support group. Everybody needs somebody, whether it’s:

•    Friends
•    Family
•    Other Sickle Cell Patients
•    Medical/Mental Health Professionals
•    Fellow Church Goers

Everybody’s life experience is different, which causes each of us to emotionally come to our own unique place in life. Some people feel as though they neither need nor want anybody to help see them through the tribulations of their illness. I personally feel that is both sad and emotionally/spiritually unhealthy to be that way, but I understand why some people isolate themselves. In some ways it is easier being alone; and in other ways it’s not. We social creatures by nature and are naturally drawn to other human beings; we all want to love and be loved.

In the Thoughts / Experiences section, I wrote many posts about the emotional barriers or walls that Sickle Cell Disease can cause us to build around ourselves. Two months ago I posted “SCD & Emotional Barriers #1: Intro.” Since then, I have made a real effort at opening up with people and not being as guarded with my feelings. I’ve invited more people into my home; I try to reach out to people who I see or feel may need it; I’m being more honest with people when they sincerely ask how I’m doing; and I’m allowing, or at least trying, to let people get closer to me.

Since I made the choice to chip away at the barrier I’ve build around myself, I’ve had my emotions trampled to a thousand pieces; I’m actually writing this post huddled up in the corner in the fetal position. I’m totally joking. The truth is I’m happier than I have been in a couple years. The past two and a half years, I’ve been barraged with a steady stream of medical problems; it’s been the hardest two years of my life. Thankfully I’ve made some changes that have had some powerful positive emotion benefits.

I’ve changed some things in my diet (see Green Salads and Sickle Cell). I’ve changed some things in my mindset, like letting people get to the other side of my emotional wall. Though I’m still adjusting to the new issues in my life, I’m emotionally in a good place. I didn’t get there alone.

My friends Stan and Shannon, with whom I have dinner with nearly every Sunday after church; my friend Mike, whom I’m teaching how to cook; my friend Daniel who is so happy to help me with anything and everything; my friend Leisel, who I can talk to about anything; and others . . . they, my family and my relationship with God, are my support group. By opening up a bit more than I previously had, I’m getting through this challenge called life.

For parents with children with Sickle Cell, your child’s doctor may be able to help connect you and your child with your local Sickle Cell Organization through which there are: support groups, summer, camps, and other various activities. Allow and encourage your child to invite friends into your home. Encourage them to be social and try new things. My mom put me in dance at the age of twelve. For about seven years I took tap and jazz; and it was the best thing for me. I wouldn’t be who I am without dance.

For youth or adults living with Sickle Cell, my suggestion for the week is try to open your heart a bit more than you have. Be more honest about how you are feeling with those who love you. Share more of your life and your self. Try to make an emotional connection with someone; or if you have a connection, try to deepen it. You may find, as I have found, a bit more joy in your life.